Met a few girls, but they won't sleep with me or be intimate.

daygamer0911 · 2017-12-07T01:13:21+00:00

I don't have much for you but one thing: Stop settling for just sleeping next to them. If they don't fuck, they go home (or you go home if you're at their place). Start being a cold hearted player with them.

recyclablebanthas · 2017-12-26T04:06:52+00:00

I'll just comment on this, even though it's wildly late, and include your question from the direct message.

____1____

Girl 1: Won't sleep with me, and only will make out with me.

This leaves out a LOT of freaking information.

If a girl is making out with you and sex isn't happening, all I can say is that you're probably pushing too much. You shouldn't be trying to make out with her unless you're in a place where sex could happen, and if you're at a place like that, then sex is not hard to get to if she's down with making out and isn't the kind of girl who needs to wait until marriage.

How far were you getting and what were you doing when she would stop things and how were they being stopped?

Girl 1's friends (the girl who isn't sleeping with me) told me that she is looking for an Indian guy to settle down with in their mid 20s

Doesn't matter. Stop asking her friends about this stuff, if that's what you're doing. Always deal directly with the girl with personal stuff about the relationship/dating situation. It shows respect for her privacy and demonstrates that you can handle emotional things yourself if you need to.

____2____

Girl 2: Kisses me and try to keep sex to a minimum, if we have sex at all. She also won't do certain sexual things with me in bed. We will just sleep in the same bed.

Again, this is too vague. It sounds like you're pushing too much, too hard.

How far were you getting and what were you doing when she would stop things and how were they being stopped?

I also met her ex, who said that she was wild and freaky in bed and that she gave it up on the first date. THey did all sorts of stuff together, and that she had many boyfriends and FWBS that she was sleeping with.

Dude. Are you trying to shoot yourself in the foot? Don't talk to the EX about sex life with her, if you want to keep having it. It comes off like you're impatient about these girls and then start reaching out to people that know them and start asking them questions to get answers to reassure you that you can get what you want.

Which is irrelevant because if you just had some patience and paid attention to these girls, the ones that are going to have sex, will open up.

____3____

It isn't just these girls, but also other Indian and East Asian girls I meet/have met at raves and social events. THey are conservative around guys of their own races, but gravitate towards White or Black guys and heavily flirt or dance, and even hook up with them.

Some insight on this: it's not that they are "conservative" with people from their own races. It's that they are often tired of the way guys from their own culture treat them. The way that manhood and relationships are defined, is different between the West and places like India and East Asia.

I have a lot of female friends who are East Asian, and the ones who won't date their own race, say it's because they don't like the way those guys treat them. They often feel oppressed or unable to be themselves. They feel like they are expected to be a certain kind of girl. They feel shamed if they don't want to fit into a certain mold of what most East Asians (or Indians) expect of women.

____4____

How do I get over this? How do I get them to sleep with me or be more intimate? We just sleep next to each other. How can I start sleeping WITH them and not next to them?

It takes awareness. You need to be allowing her to set the pace. Follow her lead. At the same time, you need to be able to play with it. Sexual escalation should not be a straight line up. It should be playful. Like tease her. It shouldn't ever be just you trying to get at the sex. Take care of trying to do things she likes, and you'll get the sex.
If you're making out with her, you shouldn't be trying to grab at sexual parts of her body. Don't get desperate. Crotch, chest, inner thighs, just don't touch any of these places until she takes her own clothes off.
In general, it helps to be able to show that you have restraint when you're making out with her. Like it's fine to be obvious that you want to let your hands to places, but then stop them before they get there.

You need to show that you're capable of putting on the brakes yourself. Or the woman will always take that job for herself and you won't get anywhere.

If you can manage to tease her and get her pumped up by doing these things that I'm suggesting, then she'll be the one pushing for more to happen.

____5____

Hey man, I see that you give good advice and your advice on hash runs inspired me to go out. I met some girls but they tend to avoid guys of my race, especially if they’re Indian American or East Asian American. Women of other races aren’t hung up on race. Can you please comment here and advise me on what I should do?

Based on your post here, it seems more like the issue is how you are treating people, or maybe how you talk to people.

You shouldn't be asking the ex of a girl, about how she is in bed. You shouldn't be asking the friends of a girl, about her dating history and all that. All of those conversations have the possibility to head back to the girl. And even if they don't tell the girl you're dating, it's creating an image of you as a Guy Who Talks About The Girl He Dates Behind Her Back.
If you make comments that imply or directly state ideas about what men and woman should be, you should stop.
If you are in any way controlling towards women, you need to consider that this affects which girls will be interested. If you want a more Western-minded girl, you CANNOT be a traditional minded Indian guy. There is too much about that whole mindset that Western-minded girls of any race, do not like.

____6____

If they don't fuck, they go home (or you go home if you're at their place). Start being a cold hearted player with them.

This is fucking terrible advice. The issue is most certainly that you're pushing too hard. The girl's are shutting things down because they aren't comfortable with the pace. The solution is not to be a dick and kick them out or be mean.

The solution is to pay better attention to them and calibrate better as you escalate.

I hope you didn't follow this advice, because if you did, you probably killed your chances with those 2 girls you listed before.

Title	Met a few girls, but they won't sleep with me or be intimate.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	1
Comments	2
Date	December 6, 2017 11:36 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/7i27hz/met_a_few_girls_but_they_wont_sleep_with_me_or_be/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/met-a-few-girls-but-they-wont-sleep-with-me-or-be.1438064 https://theredarchive.com/post/1438064

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