How do I get out of the "I'm going to die a virgin" and "every girl hates me" mindset?

I_Main_TwistedFate · 2017-12-13T23:55:06+00:00

No one but you knows you're a virgin. Quite frankly, they don't care. Just act normal and people will think you're normal. As for if every girl hates you, unless you have a tattoo on your forehead that says "Hate Me", I seriously doubt they do. Women act uninterested to any man, that's their primary defense mechanism. If women just let men into their pants without putting up walls, they'd be called a slut. A woman's greatest fear is being called a slut, so they act uninterested and cold. Just go up to women and talk to them for a while and you'll see the walls come down. Any woman that acts like she hates you does so because she wants to like you, but needs to know if you're strong enough to pass through the walls she's put up. Mind you, some women might actually hate you, but they're either insane or have had something bad happen to them and are taking it out on you. Either way, not your fault, and it's one in a million.

What I'd do in your shoes is approach girls whenever you can. If they act cold, keep talking to them as if they were interested in you, eventually they will be. That's how you get the girl. And whatever you do, don't compare yourself to others. Yes those guys lost their virginity, whoopty fuckin' doo. But there's even more guys out there who aren't even trying to, and you're already ahead of them by working on yourself. The only metric important to you should be how much you're improving, nothing else.

I didn't lose my virginity until I was 18, so you still have a shot at being better than I was. The biggest obstacle in your way is yourself.

recyclablebanthas · 2017-12-14T04:39:21+00:00

You already have friends. I'd just say that developing friendships with girls is also valuable. Long before I got anywhere with women, I developed this skill. If you can make friends with girls, you're really only a step away because being sexual or romantic with girls is a combination of connecting (empathy), chemistry (luck), and having the balls to make a move.

The chemistry you can't plan for. You can only discover if it's there and make a move if you feel it.

The empathy part you can build up by making friends with women. Observing people in general, REALLY paying attention, etc., can also help develop this important skill.

oyoungpadawan · 2017-12-14T00:02:10+00:00

Fake it till you make it!

Xanarxses · 2017-12-14T07:14:58+00:00

Oh don't let the angst get to your head.

I'm serious.

At 17? Come on. Your whole life's ahead of you. I'm sure that the greatest masters of pickup didn't start banging babes at 14 years of age.

Realize that the sooner you start doing something, the better. I wish I had found personal development when I was 17. Seriously, would've been awesome.

You're at a great age to start improving, man.

(Balancing your age and the likelihood of finding this. Sure it'd be great if our dad was the biggest player on the planet and he taught you since you're a toddler but that's pretty unlikely)

And let me make your balloon of "every girl hates me" go pop.

No, they don't.

I've had girls act cold, indifferent or distant but hate? Come on. I've done bad shit to make them hate me but I never received any undeserved hatred from them.

Open your eyes and instead of looking for the tiniest thing to confirm they hate you.

Look for the opposite. That maybe they are open to you approaching them or whatever.

Lots of things happen to us that we misinterpret, ignore or straight up don't see because of our mindset.

But at the same time you gotta sort of have the mindset where you know that even if every girl hates you, you are still awesome. Which in turn make you believe that girls actually like you.

It's one of those contradictory things. "You gotta have confidence to get laid. You gotta get laid to get confidence."

It doesn't make any sense but it's true through and through.

Listen, I have no magic words for you.

What cemented these ideas into my head was nothing. They floated around in my head for over a year and only now they have been welded firmly into my skull. With no apparent reason.

Now not only am I confident to my very soul that I can attract girls(I still haven't had sex in well over a year). I can see all the signals and all that good shit I've been ignoring or not seeing for this whole time.

Focus on yourself and know that you're much further ahead than many dudes out there.

SyrusDrake · 2017-12-14T11:34:59+00:00

You still have an entire decade before you're as pathetic as me. Don't worry about it.

Title	How do I get out of the "I'm going to die a virgin" and "every girl hates me" mindset?
Author	tyler2733
Upvotes	1
Comments	9
Date	December 13, 2017 11:16 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/7jnbo4/how_do_i_get_out_of_the_im_going_to_die_a_virgin/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-get-out-of-the-im-going-to-die-a-virgin.1438431 https://theredarchive.com/post/1438431

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