Being too much of an asshole? Where to draw the line between speaking your mind and politeness?

alpha_n3rd · 2014-11-21T13:23:03+00:00

Suggested reading:

http://cgt411.tech.purdue.edu/covey/48_laws_of_power.htm

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Win_Friends_and_Influence_People

Cyralea · 2014-11-21T17:29:39+00:00

There's definitely a line. As far as work goes, you need to suck it up. That's not the place where you want to create tensions. This is where several of the Laws of Power especially apply, chiefly believing as you wish but acting like others.

With regards to friends, that's a common occurrence. Several of your old friends will not let go of their beta image of you. Some will accept your growth, others will try to hold you back. You need to be able to accept them as losses for the sake of your personal growth; hanging on to them is not helping you.

Sometimes there's room for tact, but for the most part don't be afraid to be confrontational.

oldredder · 2014-11-22T22:18:48+00:00

and I'm speaking my mind freely not for attention but for my own amusement

This is not a requirement of "red pill". You can speak more or less but if you speak out of turn without getting clear benefit from the environment, which includes all the people around you, you're doing it wrong. Planning, expecting a pattern match of input_this -> output_that where output=personal gain, that's what you do.

You don't just spout your mouth off without control or understanding of what's to happen next. What's expected next is largely predictable which means the onus is on you to make a decision on what you say to gain what you want. If you lose it's either a bad stroke of luck or you're a dumbass and it's on you to fix it.

Politeness is not beta. Plenty of alphas are very polite. What's beta is letting others lead you and being supplicating to those leaders and/or to women. You can cut that out just fine without being an asshole.

I don't come across as an asshole. I'm prepared to but only if it's to my benefit. I prepare what I can say that's an asshole-statement but truth, and what's less true but more polite and less of an asshole; then I pick based on the response. The instant some dumb shit calls me out, some cunt feminist, etc., I have my asshole response ready. If I'm approached politely I'll respond politely, still with truth, still to get any gain I can from the interaction.

If there's nothing to gain there's no interaction required and I'll be elsewhere. I have only so much time alive & intend to use it to my best benefit.

You can never raise your value where it's acceptable to be a permanent asshole. No one is accepted that way ever. What you can do is raise your awareness so you know what you gain from each interaction & know when the best gain is from the asshole statement - then give it - otherwise don't.

You need some ability to predict the gain you will get from the reaction that will happen from the statement you are ready to give, be it asshole-excessive or not.

"TRP" doesn't "think" anything of this, individuals will give opinions but "TRP" is not a cult or complete theory on every last choice you should make.

[deleted] · 2014-11-21T06:01:44+00:00

TRP does not advocate being an asshole. Your confusing being an asshole/arrogant with someone who is cocky/confident.

What you need to realise is that people are in love with their own opinion. If you directly challenge them they will see you as the enemy and act accordingly. It is much better that you use "agree and amplify" to make fun of a person talking ridiculous shit then to call them out directly and appear to be mean to them and anyone else watching.

[deleted] · 2014-11-21T14:39:12+00:00

The 'asshole' that is referred to on TRP means 'charming asshole' and is related to talking to potential plates; not co-workers or friends.

fnordsnord · 2014-11-21T15:18:32+00:00

Others here have already made my point, but I'm going to chime in anyway:

Being assertive doesn't mean being rude, and being confident doesn't mean being an asshole.

James Bond is the Alpha's Alpha. But he still has good manners.

[deleted] · 2014-11-21T20:43:34+00:00

What you are experiencing is a period of enlightenment. You want to share your enlightenment.

Don't.

Now that you have been enlightened, observe more, and voice less. It'll eventually come natural.

With regards to your boss, (or whoever the natural alpha in your social circle is) Never outshine the master.

Title	Being too much of an asshole? Where to draw the line between speaking your mind and politeness?
Author	FamousAuthor47
Upvotes	2
Comments	8
Date	November 21, 2014 5:37 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2myixd/being_too_much_of_an_asshole_where_to_draw_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/being-too-much-of-an-asshole-where-to-draw-the.143849 https://theredarchive.com/post/143849

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