how do i deal with game and getting old of age

themoor · 2014-11-24T21:18:06+00:00

Okay, let me give you some "truth" as I see it and have experienced it.

First, I never planned on getting married. Or having children. I pretty much live on my own terms, and for me this has meant staying active in the things I enjoyed in my 20s (I'm late 40s now). I still party a lot, go see live music, and hang with diverse crowds. Most of my friends are my age, but I've made younger friends over time too. I'll return to this in a second.

Second, yes, stay the fuck in shape. Don't get a "dad" hair cut. Keep your wardrobe stylish but not stodgy. I prefer finding some cool retro stuff at vintage stores and Goodwill/Salvation Army, etc. Keep your diet tight.

Third, don't get "old." And by that I mean your attitude, demeanor, how you carry yourself, etc. Go to a bar on game night, one that attracts several age groups. See all those "old guys" your age that LOOK LIKE FUCKING OLD GUYS? Chicks look at them as see "dad"... don't be that guy. Also, don't be trying so hard to seem like a 20 year old that you look like an idiot. You should have your own style but one that cannot be easily slotted as young or old or trapped in a time warp.

Many men getting beaten up by life. The stressful job, kids, divorce, mortgage, bills, debt, shitty boss, etc. You can see it on their faces.

Ideally, people should be a bit astonished when they learn your age. You should be able to relate to young people, join their conversations naturally, occasionally lay down some experienced truth on them, but they should feel comfortable around you and not feel like you are the fish out of water.

Going bald? Shave it. Gray beard? Shave that too. No hair coloring.

If you are out and have developed rapport with a wide range of people, some of the young hotties will notice and not see you as "dad" and some of them, yes, will be intrigued. Don't chase them or the creep alarm will be set off. They will come to you and shyly and slyly make their interest known. Know how to pick up on the signals.

They will be reticent too. They will like you but not be sure if they should show it or not. Below, I'll give you some tells.

Do they make sure to make eye-contact with you when you are around?

Do they come up to you to say hi if they are familiar with you?

Will they chat you up out on the smoking patio?

Do they laugh genuinely at your jokes?

Are they even interested in meeting up someplace else besides where you normally run into them?

Do they tell you stories about their job, ex-bf, or school? Not as in using you as their emotional tampon but rather engaging you in conversation? If so, they are trying to keep the interaction going. They like you.

Don't apologize for your age. Own it. Laugh at it. One thing young people don't understand is that there is not one day you wake up and feel like an adult or older. In fact, most of the time our inner brain still feels like it did at 24. Keep that same sense of energy and humor you did then. If you force it, they will notice.

Don't chase these girls. They will run away. They will give you an opening to get them out. They might even ask for a kiss once in a while. Their hamster will spin because they "know" they are not supposed to like older men, but you "are so different."

In the last two years, here's some situations with girls in their 20s I've been through (my main plate is 41, by the way):

Ginny: Main side plate/fwb. Came to me. 24 years old. A 6-7. Great in the sack. No drama. Comes to me when I call and if I don't for a while I get a text "soon please."

Mandy: Was attracted to me; 22, 7-8, small and fit. Her brain couldn't process it very well and her girl game was shit and she flaked on a night out. I could have closed it had I given more shits about it, but I've also learned to screen out girls that seem like they don't know how to deal with the dating dance.

Cara: Massage therapist; 23, 8-9. Super hot, knows it. Approached her at pub, got number, she flaked on first date attempt. She found me a few months later as a music club, got up all in my space. Lots of making out for a few days (f-closing off the table both nights for logistical reasons). I dropped my interest here too when she didn't play well. When your spinning plates, you'll put up with less BS... adding a 20 year old to the rotation is sort of like sport and you can live without sealing any one deal.

Micaela: 22 year old Latina. 6 (7 if she dropped 20lbs). Plated last year for a while, about 3 months worth of banging. Drifted apart when she got her new bf. Still an occasional rendezvous crops up.

Sonya: Waitress at local pub. Never hit on her hard, just was fun and friendly. One night she says, "I think you should kiss me." I did, but was on a date with another chick still inside the bar. Never could close because soon her ex-bf proposed and she said yes.

None of these include several 30 and 40 year olds that came through my bedroom last year.

My point is that you do not have to be trapped by your age if you do the right things.

If you've already morphed into boring old guy, it'll be real hard to turn back the clock. Even if you get your body and wardrobe in order, your carriage and demeanor might be harder to change.

The key is keeping that brash, fun jerk-boy attitude you had when in your twenties without seeming to be stuck there looking like a caricature.

With all that said, I do believe this is all easier done if you never planned on marriage and kids... i.e., never actually planned on growing up in the first place. Those sort of responsibilities changes people in ways it is hard to return from.

A few other pointers off the top of my head:

No sports jerseys. You look like an idiot who never grew up ... in a bad way. Same with baseball caps (unless you're on the golf course).

Lose the jewelry if you have it. No need for necklace or ear ring (let the edgy college kids have that stuff).

Don't be a cash-cow buying the girlies drinks all the time. That looks creepy, is creepy, they'll take advantage of you and you'll get nothing from it.

If you ever pondered a comb-over, I can't help you.

If you are out at a bar gaming chicks, know when you've had plenty to drink. The young girls don't want to be seen with a drunk older guy pawing on them.

You'll probably need to get them isolated for the major moves.

Those clubs with the pounding, mindless, droning electronic music and bottle service? Yeah, skip that shit. You ARE too old for that.

When hanging with the young crowd, be known for having an awesome life. They'll ask you how your weekend was and you can answer about hiking, dinner parties with friends, rock festivals, dives with great bands, etc. You life should not be boring and it should sound like something they would have fun doing too. If you have to lie about such things, you are not doing it right.

Have a regular bar you go to. A few times a year, bring a date there. The other regulars and the waitresses should see you with women at least some of the time. Pre-selection and all that.

Have skills: build shit, make shit, play shit, cook shit, write shit. Be known for having many things you are good at.

Have interesting stories.

Have read lots of good books.

Laugh at them when they are being silly without them feeling TOO embarassed. A little is good; they should feel like you are more "mature" than "old" and also not judging them too harshly.

Be choosy. If you have 1 or 2 regular places and you are known for trying to bang any and all women who show the least bit of attention to you, that will backfire and probably soil the nest.

On a related note, at your regular places do not become known as the old guy that is always hitting on the younger girls and waitresses. That will creep them out. They need to be comfortable around you and if they are attracted to you they will make an opening for your advances.

Anyway, that's about all I have so say for now. It can be done, it takes some deft navigation and work, but it is in no way impossible to get into your forties and still have younger girls think you are hot and want to bang you.

Mathematic21 · 2014-11-24T17:51:31+00:00

You're viewing your age as a disadvantage. It is not. Age is the exact opposite for men. For women who invest in the depreciating asset of looks, age has a negative effect. The older the man the more experience, the more knowledge, more power. You simply need to remember this, you've gone through decades of life experience. You now need to apply it.

Redpillonlyaccount · 2014-11-24T21:40:02+00:00

I'm nearly 44 and scored on Saturday night with a 24 year old slim pretty blonde. I was getting attention from other young girls too. All it really took was not giving a shit and just going for it when she showed interest. She didn't give a shit about my age when I told her.

fnordsnord · 2014-11-24T15:48:06+00:00

Okay, I'm 51, and at this stage in our lives, unless we are no kidding RICH, we have to accept that we are NOT pulling the 20-something hotties. One of the things you must do is develop a taste for MILFs. I'm 41, and college students are just out of my reach now. (Barring the EXTREMELY rare case of authentic Daddy-issues, which is it's own bag of crazy).

But I CAN still pull 30-something single moms. Often they are, of course, looking for a meal ticket, but those plates can be spun for weeks or months before the "where is this relationship going" talk happens.

Yeah - the body isn't as tight. But the entitled attitude is a LOT lower, and what they lack in sheer hotness, they make up for in skill and enthusiasm.

oldredder · 2014-11-25T13:50:41+00:00

Depends how much older you look, not what you are. If you look more than 10 years older than the women you're gaming you need to adjust the game a bit so you very clearly seem accustomed to getting girls that age, and those girls are clearly happy with a guy that looks the age you look. Some will argue status about income or display of income, dressing well, etc., and I will counter-argue you never want to go so far with "status" that you give the impression you're so much richer or more powerful you can pick "forbidden fruit" at your leisure and are a big spender, or you'll only get girls that want to exploit the extras you're showing off. You want them all, not being stuck with gold-diggers, right?

Right. So you really only want to be the all-out baller if you're willing to spend the coin and a lot of people realize in the end you can spend a lot less coin for a lot more pussy by not directly dumping coin into how you do your game. e.g. escorts. Are we talking a visible/apparent difference of 5, 10, 20 years? Do you look a lot younger than you are? Are you visibly grey, wrinkles, that kind of thing?

Title	how do i deal with game and getting old of age
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	6
Comments	22
Date	November 24, 2014 3:15 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2n9o5a/how_do_i_deal_with_game_and_getting_old_of_age/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-i-deal-with-game-and-getting-old-of-age.143929 https://theredarchive.com/post/143929

Comments