I am too passive when it comes to meeting women.

Buddhabee · 2018-01-29T09:51:13+00:00

When you first meet a woman and you’re interested in her you have to make that clear. How you chose to do so depends on you, her, the situation, and context.

You know Always Be Closing (ABC*)?

That works at any stage. Women want to feel desired. If you’re talking to a woman it’s imperative you show her you are interested in her and learning more about her.

Otherwise we feel a bit awkward, not knowing why you came up to us, what to say, what you’re interested in, etc.

It’s not rocket science. Really it’s all about being calm, being yourself, and making a sincere effort to cultivate some sort of connection. When you go in to speak you don’t need to know how it’s going to go, how she’ll respond, what all you want from her, or anything beyond that A. You find her appealing (physically /intellectually) B. You’re curious to learn more

During the interaction stay in the moment. Ask her about her, something you have in common, about the shirt she’s wearing, whatever it is that sparked your interest.

Let the conversation flow.

Women are approached much less often than you’d think. We’re usually flattered when a guy comes to say something because it makes us feel special and we’re pleased to know we caught your attention.

Staying out of the friendzone requires you make it clear from the gate that you are into her; i.e. we want to know without a doubt that you find us attractive and would like to get to know us better.

Waiting to make a move until the 4th 5th time is confusing. We don’t know why you’re talking to us, if you have a gf, don’t think were attractive, and is overall confusing.

To make it clear from the get requires you as the man to either lead the initial convo or end it with a CLOSE. Commenting on something she’s wearing, you heard her say, saw her doing that interests you.

Towards the end you either make it clear you’re into her through body language, asking for her number, setting up a time to get coffee etc. So that by the end of the interaction she’s aware you are into her and has given you her number, set a time to meet, and/or is looking forward to seeing you the next time (given she’s certain of your intentions.)

Women love guys who are willing to show their cards. 9/10 when a guy is willing to be open about this women are more than happy to follow suit and feel special that you took the time to speak to them.

Buddhabee · 2018-01-29T18:25:02+00:00

Well damn I mean I get hit on all the time. Literally it doesn’t even matter where I go or what I’m wearing or if I just left the gym or didn’t shower or whatever and I’m going to hear some kind of bullshit remark come out of some guy’s mouth at the gas station or you know in line at the grocery store etc.

In regards to being hit on / approached : I am an attractive woman. Everywhere I go regardless of what I’m wearing, where I’m at, have make up on/we, someone always finds something to say.

So in that sense I get hit on a lot. Being approached and being hit on are different though. To approach a woman requires balls, a few sentences, and a display of genuine emotion/interest. Being hit on is almost entirely based on the physical. And it shows by the comments they make. This always ends in being ignored, dismissed, and shut down.

Approaching a woman is clearly Predicated on out where the kids and that’s entirely appropriate. The biggest difference for me is the effort Hey dynamics to ask about something that is not the correct term is the coolest kids only. Essentially trying to find out more about me and not just letting you know that they think I’m hot.

As an attractive young woman I am used to the attention and have mostly Learned to ignore it. Especially when coming from someone who doesn’t have the balls to come up and speak to me, or comes to say something and all he manages is some comment on my ass or whatever.

To me This kind of approach feels almost intrusive to have some guy all in my space so he can tell me: Yeah you look hot and my dicks hard. I want to fuck You.”

Of course not in those words but that’s basically what it means when a guy you don’t know who is only approaching you because they’re attracted to you.

Secondly for a man to feel that it’s appropriate to approach women they find attractive, solely based on physicality, is really saying ‘I find you attractive. What’s up? Wanna fuck?’

It’s presumptuous for men to think it’s appropriate to hit on some girl he doesn’t know just because he finds her hot. Clearly he can’t be too interested in HER. He doesn’t know her he just knows she’s hot and hed like to hit that.

If I guy wants to hit on me because he thinks I’m hot and wants to sleep on me thats already asking to be blown off. Furthermore, women get barraged w this all day and it’s clearly only based on physical appearance alone.

Point being; The fact that men feel like it’s cool to approach women they find hot, and make it clear they’re interested. This seems to imply that if a man is into a woman that’s it- whether she feels that way or not isn’t even a consideration. Like somehow bc this guy likes my ass he has to tell me that bc in his mind he’s a man and that’s what men do.

If he wants to hook up. Cool. Not. In no way does this dynamic indicate even the slightest consideration for the woman and how she feels.

I know that got off topic. Apologies for the rant. That’s something I’ve been dealing w a lot lately and I can’t wrap my head around the logic.

I’ll insert a link w a picture Photo of me

Bladehawk · 2018-01-29T06:09:46+00:00

To get women interested in you, you must be interesting. Collect fun and varied life experiences, travel, read widely, etc and practice making small talk about them with the intention of finding something you're both interested in.

RyanAlex_7 · 2018-01-29T15:01:14+00:00

Well yes and no with the 10 second thing, you can make a good impression and easily screw it up after 5 mins chat, or make an indifferent impression and slowly spike it up after. The main thing is just get comfortable talking to girls first of all. Then as you get more comfortable you'll slowly start taking more risks verbally/physically. In the meantime you can offer some direct compliments "I thought you looked good" mixed with general chit-chat, "I liked X about you". A lot of guys are afraid to even say shit like that so it kind of spikes it quite early on and sets a different tone to some guy just trying to be "nice" the whole time. It really comes down to having confidence to approach, make it clear there's some physical/sexual interest by a direct statement just to spike things up a little, and then having a genuine conversation where you're trying to get to know her a little, or playing about making jokes. The main thing is though to not take it so seriously once you can interact in a light way and not be outcome dependent you'll naturally allow the fun side of you to pop up and make more risque comments/jokes which will separate you from needy guys.

Buddhabee · 2018-01-29T21:22:47+00:00

Nice. Yes you are exactly right. Women love getting attention and being told they’re pretty. What I find interesting is that men RARELY if ever approach me with any semblance of propriety /humanity /normal person. Instead it’s just this constant barrage of guys just yelling things or saying stupid shit when I walk by.

I can’t even remember the last time someone came up to me and i wasn’t immediately turned off by the way he was looking at me like a piece of meat. Gross lol

Telling a girl she’s pretty always goes over well. As long as it’s backed up by a legit comment/question which indicates genuine interest or curiosity. You’d be surprised how happy women will be when you talk to them /approach w genuine interest. Seriously, it’s a lot easier than you think before hand and once you break the ice it’s all downhill from there.

Title	I am too passive when it comes to meeting women.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	3
Comments	9
Date	January 29, 2018 5:32 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/7tq5ty/i_am_too_passive_when_it_comes_to_meeting_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-am-too-passive-when-it-comes-to-meeting-women.1440802 https://theredarchive.com/post/1440802

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