Tried to conquer Approach Anxiety, but it turns out I really can't

2018-02-13T14:37:50+00:00

Well you have two options:

Never have sex in your life
Get over AA

So if you don't want to get over it, you don't have to. Just know you're never getting laid again. On the other hand, you can get over your fears and approach, approach, approach.

Some common tips are to count to 3 and approach, eliminating your bad thoughts. Another one is to think of the worst possible rejection you could get from a girl. You go up and say hi and she just laughs at you. So bad that everyone in the venue is laughing, actually. And then imagine you're one of the people laughing (maybe even the girl herself). You'd probably forget about it in a week! And no rejection will EVER be that bad, so you have nothing to be afraid of. The risk of humiliation is less severe than the guilt from not approaching, so always approach.

Jackieoo00 · 2018-02-13T15:22:39+00:00

Approach anxiety isnt supposed to ever go away. That anxiety is actually what makes talking to girls rewarding. I like replace the word 'anxiety' with 'excitement' bc arent they the exact same feeling? The only difference is whether you are focused on the potential negative outcomes or the potential positive ones. You need to learn to embrace and appreciate your anxiety and stop wishing for it to disappear. You never stop feeling that rush of adrenaline, you only learn how to be more skillful in taking action while feeling it. It takes courage. Courage is not defined as the absence of fear, courage is being able to take appropriate action while being afraid. Your high level of anxiety is presenting you with an amazing opportunity for growth. Dont focus on getting results. Focus on simply having courage and facing your fear.Consider your approach a success every time you speak up or act out while being afraid.

truecrisis · 2018-02-13T11:35:32+00:00

You just gotta do it man.

There's nothing else that can help except doing it. By the way, it never goes away. Even pros get anxiety. They just learn to manipulate that feeling into a rush instead of a wall.

Try anxiety meds? Ashwagandha and Rhodiola both help with mild anxiety. Can get it on Amazon.

2018-02-13T16:36:41+00:00

When you get that anxiety look at people. Don't look down, look at them. Realize they're the same as you, and they're all doing a simple activity you know how to do, which is talking. There's nothing weird about that. If those people can do it without people thinking negatively of them, you can do it too. You're scared of being judged, but when you look around, you'll realize people aren't even paying attention to you. So just go up to a girl and introduce yourself while looking into her eyes. Always make eye contact, it makes it much easier.

If not, then talk to some guys, so you get comfortable with talking to strangers. Or go with a friend and talk to some girls, but the two of you together. This may help you realize it's completely fine to talk to strangers

Not_unique_enuf · 2018-02-13T16:46:41+00:00

Baby steps.

First try asking "what time is it?"Do that till you comfortable to move onto next step. Next step...message me and I will tell you.

Good luck

2018-02-13T20:14:58+00:00

You can either do it or never do it. Pretty simple. Take it from me, once you do it it's actually exhilarating and you'll regret the time you wasted overthinking it. Remember it's the very first part of the entire process so if you're stuck on that for years you're getting nowhere! Do you want to have a hot babe in your bed begging for it or not??

Walk around the city on the weekend. Ask random people (start off with fat guys and grandmas if that's what it takes) questions like are there any cool bars around here, or where is X tourist attraction (pretend you don't have your phone to look it up yourself). When you're fine with grandmas, go for more attractive younger people.

Then start extending the conversation. Ask them if the bar you just asked for directions to is any good, ask them what they're up to today. None of this is going to get a bad reaction. At worst they will make an excuse and leave, but you know what, often they will be fine chatting, which then blows your mind. Because you now know YOU can do it, this isn't some dodgy RSD video with paid actors.

Sure, you're not making the conversation sexual just yet, but you'll realise hot girls are people too and that you're capable of not scaring them away instantly.

I'm so pumped after doing this last weekend, sure to some people it's just pathetic, but I feel like life changed in 1 afternoon.

Title	Tried to conquer Approach Anxiety, but it turns out I really can't
Author	HungryRecipe
Upvotes	3
Comments	6
Date	February 13, 2018 10:58 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/7x8n39/tried_to_conquer_approach_anxiety_but_it_turns/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/tried-to-conquer-approach-anxiety-but-it-turns-out.1441610 https://theredarchive.com/post/1441610

Comments