Hello all,

A while ago I decided I should log my nights out as I could use that to improve my journey. So far I've only written them in Word for myself, but I decided it might be a good idea to also post them on Reddit (leaving details such as names and pictures out for obvious privacy reasons) to maybe get some tips from other users. I created a separate account for this.

Note that I'm fairly new in this journey and things definitely will go wrong. At this point I'm still getting fucked over by AA, but I'm working on that. And I'm Dutch, so some things might get 'lost in translation' and my English isn't perfect.

Saturday 9 December, 2017

This FR is the first report I’ve written in a while. I decided to log my nights out again so I could better improve myself. This is Saturday the 9th of December 2017 and I went out with two mates whom also are into ‘approaching women’.

We had a few drinks at mine from 22.00 onwards to around 23.40 and then left to the city. We were hopping between bars between around 00.20 and 03.30. In those approximate 3 hours, I’ve approached 5 chicks, of which the last two was a two-set.

 

Girl 1: the worst rejection so far (and it wasn’t even that bad)

We tend to think of rejections as a horrible thing, but in reality, they’re not much anymore. Proof of this was the first girl I’ve approached on this night. She was with a friend and I’ve used my default opener “Hey, who are you?” (note: in Dutch). At first she was not responding and as not to give up immediately, I tried again two seconds later. She and her friend were laughing a little bit. This was the worst rejection so far. Yep, that’s not a nice one, but definitely not bad.

What did I do? I laughed. I just started laughing and walked away, back to my friends. I couldn’t stop laughing. I tried to turn this around into something positive and it seems to have worked. I’m still alive and have more experience. That’s so much worth the rejection. What’s life without rejections 😉?

 

Girl 2: friend of a girl my mate was approaching

We were in a different venue and my mate was approaching a chick. She was with only one friend so the friend looked a bit alone. I approached her and started talking a bit. “Does it feel a bit awkward when your friend gets approached by guys?” (note: in Dutch). However they both got boyfriends. I stayed in set longer than my mate, which felt great, because normally it’s the other way around.

 

Girl 3: jokes and laughs

At this time, one of my mates has left, so I was left with only one. We were heading for the exit of this venue, when I approached a chick (sorry, mate, you got to wait). It was a fun vibe. Right of her was a female friend, making out with a random dude. Left of her was the boyfriend of said female friend, totally drunk. Whoops. Her boyfriend was at home.

 

Girl 4/5: queue for coat check

At around 03.30, we were heading for the coat check. The queue gets really long there around 04:00 when everything closes and it’s really cold, so we decided to go early and not wait 30 minutes outside. It’s always a chaos here, but we managed it in around 5 minutes.

Behind me was two chicks, one was feeling really cold. Was expected, as she had her shoulders uncovered, short sleeves and the dress didn’t look very warm either. The other chick and I were teasing the cold-chick a bit, some light physical escalation on her shoulders ‘to keep her warm’.

I decided to see how far I could come, so first step: screen for logistics. They weren’t really great. She lives in a village quite far away but they were sleeping at a friends two cities away. So I assume they have a cab and because they’re with the two, it would be kind of impossible to separate them. At least I’ve approached.

 

Positives

  • I did approach and had quite some fun. Turned a harsh rejection around into a positive experience.

  • I stayed in set longer than the few times I went out before.

  • My mate says I’m improving a lot, which felt really great to hear.

 

Negatives

  • Still so much AA. I know it won’t go away, but I backed out of so many approaches. Could’ve done tons more.

  • Approach. Approach. Approach. Fuck it dude, APPROACH.

 

Friday 15 December, 2017

Another week, another Field Report. I decided to do these regularly now, as it can greatly help me improve my process (and also enables me to get better at English writing at the same time). On this night, I went out with one other mate whom also is into approach women, so that’s helpful.

 

On a kind-of-related note: I got my contact lenses on the 14th of December. Now it’s all practicing it at home and get used to those little plastic magical things on my eyes that make my sight better. If everything goes to plan, I’ll go out with my contact lenses instead of my glasses as soon as possible. I think it would improve my looks (less nerdy), and thus my self-confidence and possibly also results with women. Editors note: I'm going out with my contact lenses since the end of December and it makes me look much better than with glasses. It helped a bit with my confidence, but not much so far with the results. We keep working on that ;)

 

Instead of pre-drinks at someone’s, we decided to have a beer first at a bar. We did this as an experiment to see if it would positively affect us and our state as we’d slowly get used to the busy and social atmosphere during the night instead of the rather sudden change. So far it doesn’t seem that it was much different, so we’ll continue to sometimes pre-drink at someone’s and other times at a bar.

 

In contrast with the previous report, this will be less of a ‘chaptered’ report. So many things happened during the night (especially a lot of venue changes early in the night), so it’s easier to make it a sort of chronical story instead.

 

We met up at the bar at around 23:00 and have a beer at the last free table. It seems like it’s getting busy but this was not true at all. We found out that on Friday’s (we barely go out on Friday), it is relatively quiet until like 02:00. One club that’s often really crowded had like 6 people in there when we went there around 00:30. Safe to say, we left rather quickly.

 

We were in another venue and had some fun as it started to get busier. My mate actually opened a chick behind me for me. So he opened her, and immediately introduced me and he left me with her. We had some physical escalation and contact and there was a nice vibe. I don’t remember exactly (I was living in the moment), but it was a nice set, however rather short. I don’t know exactly what went wrong.

 

In the same venue later we were in a two-set together. One of the girls is Dutch while the other was from somewhere in the US and on a holiday here. We weren’t really interested in them, but used it as some social proof and just to keep the vibe. I actually initiated something the women loved: a group picture. This was another great reason to come close to them, approach some random dude and ask him to take the picture and finally, it can be used as social proof, because you can bet I added it to my Snapchat story, to be seen by quite some people.

 

Another set I was in was with my mate again. He approached one chick sitting alone while I was away for a moment. The chick was with two female friends, both of them were having a great time with some random dudes from the club. I joined the two in the set, as it wasn’t really going anywhere for them. One of her female friends was done with the guy so now it was the four of us. I tried another group picture, but this time my mate was taking the picture. So it was me in the middle and a girl to the left and to the right of me. They decided to ‘kiss’ me on the cheek while taking the picture. Social proof for my Snapchat story, you get it. We had some light conversation and wanted to switch venues because the night was coming to an end and we always go to our favorite venue twice a night, early in the night and as one of the last. She didn’t want to leave without her two female friends initially. They were found later again and we were getting ready to switch, when the two were vanished again. Now the girl wanted to go with us. It was kind of special, as the club is normally 21+ on Fridays and Saturdays. I don’t exactly know why, but I always get in. It might be because I went quite a few times with people well over 21 and the bouncer kind of recognizes me now. I never had problems there and often the groups before and after us get their ID checked, but we never got that.

 

My mate’s chances with this girl are decreasing rapidly. In the previous venue he was also trying to flirt with one of her two female friends, which she saw obviously. In this venue he approached another chick. She seemed a bit jealous however, mentioning how the other chick wasn’t that good looking. I was dancing with what was now ‘my’ chick and escalated physically. I tried two kissing-tests to see if she was ready to be kissed. It’s a really great test and really unnoticeable, but pretty accurate. She didn’t seem ready to be kissed in both tests, so I did not. However I had her (and one of her friend’s) Snapchat, so at least I have some contact information. I should’ve gone for the number myself though.

 

My mate and I wanted to go to the coat check before the queues get too long. As we were getting ready to leave, my chick was talking with some random dude. We asked if she wanted to go get her coat as well, but she didn’t want to leave just yet. Oh well, didn’t matter. I wouldn’t even be able to pull, because her and her two friends were sharing a cab so logistics were crap.

 

On my way back home I actually got engaged in a conversation with three chicks. They were a bit too old for my liking, but we had a nice vibe for around 15 minutes. They were pretty drunk, but drunk people can be really fun to hang around with. Especially if you are half-sober-half-tipsy yourself.

 

Positives

  • I was part of some great sets during this night. It was amazing what happened with them and I did some great physical escalation.

  • My initiative to create group pictures twice were received as fun, outgoing and social. As an added bonus, they are great social proof as well.

 

Negatives

  • I didn’t approach too much and the best sets were opened by my mate. I should really approach more.

  • ABC. Always. Be. Closing.