How do I get over my fear of asking out a woman?

2018-02-28T07:26:58+00:00

The only way to do it is to get out there and try it. You will be rejected but practice makes perfect. The first few times WILL suck. A little awkwardness can actually work in your favor sometimes. Soon enough it'll roll off like water off a duck's back and you'll be wooing the ladies in no time. Some of them will have boyfriends and the less you freak out, the less of a big deal it will be. Prepare yourself for their reaction and if you shrug it off like it's no big deal then she may remember and approach you later. The best way to excel at anything these days is to get out there and try it. You will fail, but keep getting up and trying again. Take your failures as opportunities to learn - just be patient, and don't expect to master it in a few weeks. You will build up a rock-solid confidence over time.

EDIT: Also, choose your conversations wisely, and don't force it. If you're at the bar and she looks bored, or you're at the grocery store and both grab for the same item, or on the dance floor and she starts dancing with you - let the conversation happen naturally. Nothing more unattractive than a pushy douchebag these days (of which there are plenty). For example, she reaches for an orange and you walk up "oranges, am I right??" yeahhhh bad mojo lol. You can get surprisingly far just by not being a complete tool - just by being nice.

EDIT #2: One more thing, the whole friendship thing is difficult. It's easy to come off as a toolbag if you push the friend thing too much from the offset. So many guys say they just want to be friends to manipulate people - ruining it for people that actually do, and the others had intentions of just being friends but the physical attraction overpowered those intentions (I've been guilty of this). If the sexual attraction is there then don't ignore it, but don't let that completely overpower your interactions either. Your intentions will always be evident eventually regardless of what you say they are. I would say let friendship happen naturally too. If you're both physically attracted to each other then there's nothing wrong with going further. If you're not then let the friendship grow naturally. Just know that it's almost impossible to go back to friends after you engage in sex, especially if you find each other physically attractive.

Lambdal7 · 2018-02-28T10:37:23+00:00

You can only do the Fear through exposure therapy.

You just get rejected, notice that it isn't so bad and you do it again.

DimitriT · 2018-02-28T10:17:07+00:00

Don't worry about your freezing up. It's natural to be afraid of stuff that hurts you. Do it more often and it will result in you being used to it.
On the other hand you have to decide if it's worth asking her out. To be honest, friend-zone hurts more than being rejected. So I always end up taking the risk If I like the girl.
If you want to have a good rule then "Always be honest"! Both to yourself and her. Tell or show her your feelings, even if she doesn't like you back, she will respect you for not being a pussy. She will be secure around you because she knows what you want. And it is also better to be rejected early on then pursuing something that was doomed to fail anyway. It's more efficient too.
/// PS: How many women did you ask out? If it's around 10 or 20 then you don't even know if its a problem for you or not because of low sample. You have to ask out like 100s of them and then decide if it's really a problem or just unlucky streak. Keep improving.

2018-02-28T16:03:05+00:00

Ask out a woman.

iHasABaseball · 2018-02-28T16:09:44+00:00

You begin to view yourself as worthy of existence and happiness.

Everything else falls in place when you look in the mirror and come to grips with the fact that you're enough. You're enough to deserve a happy relationship. You're enough to deserve success. You're enough to deserve feeling like enough.

Until you genuinely acknowledge that, you'll struggle.

2018-02-28T20:00:32+00:00

Women can't stand a man who hides his intentions. It's dishonest. You know damn well if you are interested in a woman within the first meeting so be blunt if you have to and speak the truth in a manner that seems fitting. Who knows if she's the right woman but you know if you're interested. If you don't speak up and show her through flirting or blunt speech she will assume you aren't interested and just want a friendship. If you break that assumption of hers months down the road, you come off as a snake that crept up on her with guile and subterfuge. That's snake behavior. Better to be a blundering and honest ape than a snake.

2018-03-01T01:25:05+00:00

You need to practice it and eventually it will come naturally. First time I asked out a girl face to face (she's was way out of my league btw lolol), I thought I sounded nervous and dumb, but she was really fucking impress and told me it was the first time a man had the balls to ask her in person. This gave me the confidence to continue down this path, texting is for loosers.

2018-03-06T22:31:25+00:00

Simple ask them out.

Title	How do I get over my fear of asking out a woman?
Author	noluckwiththegirls
Upvotes	7
Comments	11
Date	February 28, 2018 7:25 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/80u77f/how_do_i_get_over_my_fear_of_asking_out_a_woman/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-get-over-my-fear-of-asking-out-a-woman.1442404 https://theredarchive.com/post/1442404

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