Getting in touch with a girl I dated some time ago after no contact.

LingeringGnome · 2018-03-27T22:59:36+00:00

I dated a girl for around a month this winter. Dates were great. Actually so nice, that I thought it may lead to a girlfriend. Mistake.

We both had fun. Last time I spoke to her then, she seemed bored and somewhat repulsed, for whatever reasons, I haven't got the slightest idea.

Because you wanted her to be your gf too soon.

After that I had some things to do in the area where she lives, texted her I'm around, let's grab a quick coffee. She accepted and seemed happy to see me. I escalated lightly, just to let her know I'm still interested. She responded well, but no kiss whatsoever. I dropped her off, hugged, and went about my business.

Friendzone.

Next week, I asked her to join me on a hobby activity we both have in common.

Jesus christ.

Coffee and hobby dates?

Now it's 4 or 5 weeks since this happened. No contact from each parties, other than she liked most of my social media posts. Is this too much of a silence period to get in touch with again?

she doesn't like nice guys. you friend-zoned yourself. Too many dates, too much yapping not enough sex.

STOP with the fucking coffee dates and daytime dates unless you're an expert at seduction. Make dates at bars, in the evening.

ALWAYS go for a kiss on the first date.

ill_silent_lasagna · 2018-03-27T20:10:34+00:00

So I figured she wasn't interested anymore and I went silent for a few weeks.

She responded well, but no kiss whatsoever. I dropped her off, hugged, and went about my business.

She seemed quite interested at first, but didn't give me an exact answer in the end, which I understand it means "no", after all. So I didn't bother any further.

Dude, you're shutting yourself down way too easily. You're making all these negative assumptions. I used to do this - that is, just not bothering (I learned this from this sub...boy was I wrong! This sub circlejerks a lot of bad advice).

It's like you're putting no effort into it. Get in touch ASAP, and be more on top of things.

ccvbnm31 · 2018-03-27T22:11:39+00:00

Not enough details but I mean if she liked your posts then somethings good. To soon to call it quits though. Maybe she finds the activities boring or something. You need to text her and generate more of a connection before trying to seal the deal. Im not sure what you have/haven’t did so the more details the better.

ccvbnm31 · 2018-03-28T21:20:01+00:00

Tbh, don’t do it. Its better to just move on bro. Just be more aware next time

throwaway658491 · 2018-03-29T00:00:55+00:00

I’m in a similar situation. I got too needy and chased her away. I finally stopped initiating contact and she initiated a week later then again after another week. I was butthurt about it all so I didn’t really escalate when she reconnected with me. In essence I think I was waiting for her to be like hey let’s get together but that probably won’t happen. It’s the mans job to do that.

Is she a shy girl? It seems like you may be over analyzing your interactions. Why don’t you ask her when she’s free to get together and catch up? Take her for drinks and work from there. If she can’t commit to any times or days, tell her it’s nice talking to her and walk away for a while.

Title	Getting in touch with a girl I dated some time ago after no contact.
Author	gasguzzla1
Upvotes	5
Comments	15
Date	March 27, 2018 7:57 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/87llid/getting_in_touch_with_a_girl_i_dated_some_time/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/getting-in-touch-with-a-girl-i-dated-some-time-ago.1443847 https://theredarchive.com/post/1443847

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