How do you overcome the (1) Fear of bothering her (2) Fear of what other people think

tab13092 · 2018-04-03T14:35:28+00:00

It's overused and pretty cliche but simply just stop caring. I know it sounds like some simple advice, but it works.

I used to be the same way, and as a result I have missed out on a lot of really great things thus far in life. After getting out of a LTR I realized I was free to do literally anything I wanted with no one to consult or have to plan around/with. That sparked the fire to turn my life around in a way where I did whatever I wanted and stopped caring.

It takes time, but start small. For instant, I always used to be a "yes man" type of guy that would just agree out of fear of someone not liking me for voicing a different opinion. Started off small, just with like family and friends, and would speak my mind in a calm way. Now, I give 0 fucks what people think of what I have to say and honestly enjoy having different opinions as it's a great chance to both debate something and to learn from a different perspective.

Just start with things like that, and in time it snowballs. You realize "Well shit, if I don't care about X then why do I care about Y and Z too?"

Sufyries · 2018-04-03T00:12:36+00:00

If you truly love yourself and see yourself as someone who is good company to be around, you shouldn't feel like you're bothering her. Be humble and check yourself (we don't need more narcissists in this world), but see your presence to other people as a gift. You're providing value just by being a good person (pro-tip: only works if you actually behave like a cool, good person).

Also, to be blunt, dudes don't just intrinsically add value to girls by having a penis. There are some dudes (ex. nice guys) that are energy vampires and black holes of negativity. If you have doubts on whether or not you add value to a girls life, follow them, and address your insecurities first instead of trying to fight them in the field. You truly need to love yourself and KNOW in the ESSENCE of who you are that you add value. If you're getting struck by doubts about these things constantly, you need to work on your inner game, and focus on accomplishing your passions and goals (since these things contribute to self love).

Ultimately you shouldn't care about what other people think. It's a waste of time. You can't please everyone. Focus on becoming the best version of yourself, be honest about your weaknesses and address them, and strike down at fear and insecurity.

Oliivi · 2018-04-03T00:41:48+00:00

“If it goes well my life could change massively for the good. If it goes bad I’m exactly where I started and she won’t remember it in 2 days”

Honest to god, if you can tell me if a situation where you saw a stranger get turned down and you still remember it, I’ll rest my case. But you can’t. And I guarantee you have seen a stranger get turned down

2018-04-03T02:31:54+00:00

Go go go!!

AFChungo · 2018-04-03T03:47:53+00:00

I can't help you with the first part, but this past weekend I learned an important lesson on the second. I approached 5 or 6 girls, and got rejected by every single one of them. At the end of the night, my friend told me he was jealous of me for being able to go approach all those girls. It doesn't matter if you fail, most people around you will think you look cool just for being able to approach.

As for not caring what the girls think, I'm still working on that myself

TruthSFree · 2018-04-03T13:01:21+00:00

Hi, this should help. https://www.truthrelationshipmanagement.com/new-blog/approachanxietyandhowtobeatit?rq=approach%20anxiety

Title	How do you overcome the (1) Fear of bothering her (2) Fear of what other people think
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	3
Comments	7
Date	April 3, 2018 12:07 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/896m7o/how_do_you_overcome_the_1_fear_of_bothering_her_2/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-overcome-the-1-fear-of-bothering-her-2.1444190 https://theredarchive.com/post/1444190

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