I am afraid of showing interest in a girl if I know i will have to keep contact with her afterwards. How do you continue if she is not interested?

TacoPhd · 2018-04-12T22:08:12+00:00

Why would it be awkward? Unless you are one of those guys that makes a scene and calls the girl demeaning things because they rejected you then it shouldn’t be awkward.

So, let’s say she rejects you. Now you have the answer to that question in your head about whether she likes you or not. Since you say rejection isn’t the problem, then why do you care? If she’s awkward around then that’s her problem. If you become awkward and start closing up because someone is around then it’s not the girl that’s the problem, it’s you. If that’s the case then you should probably focus on yourself. Get new hobbies, make new friends, experience new stuff. Basically get an interesting life. And contrary to what a lot of people think, it’s not to “show off” or show other people how interesting you are, it’s so YOU can see how interesting and fulfilling life is without the need to be with someone.

Now, back to the awkwardness thing. Let’s say that things don’t go well and you get rejected by someone you know. If they are decent human beings, they will be probably feeling as shitty and as awkward as you do and probably won’t even mention it. This saves you from the social aspect of it. You don’t have to be bitter or angry about it. It’s nobody’s fault. You felt something that she did not, big deal. If you aren’t able to act normal around her, then just distance yourself from her a bit. Regain your perspective, go back to your hobbies and stuff. I’m not saying to just ghost the people that make you feel awkward, but instead tell them that you may need some time to think about things and just let them know that it’s not their fault. The same holds true if you see them acting awkwardly. Let them know you have moved on (even if you haven’t) just so they have peace of mind and don’t tense up everytime they see you around.

Eventually, you’ll get to the point where you’ll be drinking at a bar with your long time crushes talking about how you used to like them and stuff. Maybe even something more*.

*not guaranteed

MisterBurgerFace · 2018-04-12T22:21:04+00:00

Psychologically, the only reason you would feel this way is because you are seeking validation from these girls you know.

Once you realize that you have nothing to prove, you will stop feeling this way.

dbhe · 2018-04-13T04:48:51+00:00

I actually disagree with the other two comments here. You should take it seriously because of reputation. In a lot of cold approach geared towards flirting (but also sometimes socializing), there’s a decent amount of risk involved. There’s also a fair amount of breaking social norms but also invading other people’s boundaries. Only sometimes btw.

In my opinion, the solution is two-fold. Learn how to do social approaches.

And learn how to express intent in a way where you’re not ignoring every social norm. Because a lot of PUA companies (mostly cause of RSD) teach an ethos of always approach regardless of situation, you can end up totally disregarding social norms.

That is the true problem imo. You can’t totally control her reactions to you, but that’s also true of socializing and almost everyone socializes. One creeped out girl is not the end of the world if it’s HER fault and not yours.

2018-04-13T05:26:02+00:00

Nothing is going to happen

Girls hate awkwardness, afterwards they will still be laughing at your jokes but inside they'll be like "I haaatee this guy" haha

Title	I am afraid of showing interest in a girl if I know i will have to keep contact with her afterwards. How do you continue if she is not interested?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	5
Comments	6
Date	April 12, 2018 8:47 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/8btj0y/i_am_afraid_of_showing_interest_in_a_girl_if_i/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-am-afraid-of-showing-interest-in-a-girl-if-i.1444743 https://theredarchive.com/post/1444743

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