My whole life i've been really terrible with women. I was too shy to talk to girls, never kissed a girl, had a date or sex until 2 years ago. In those 2 years I completely changed and finally got some results. So in the last 3 weeks I've had 9 dates, even made out with 4 of them but only one led to a second date and I have no idea how to change that.

 

First a little bit about me: 22M, living in Berlin and using Tinder as my main tool to meet women as it's uncomplicated and working pretty good. Once the girl is answering to my opener I can easily setup a date quickly, most of the time.

 

I met 6 girls who also live in berlin, tried to kiss 2 and made out with 1. I also met 3 girls who are not from germany (America, Mexico, France), made out with all of them and had sex with 1. Most of them were really into me when we wrote over text but somehow I couldn't transfer the chemistry when I actually met them. After the date they'd either ignore my text or write me that she found me nice and all but didn't felt any attraction towards me. Those texts also sometimes came from the same girls who prior made out with me.

 

I think my biggest problem is to project my sexual interest towards her and make her feel that sexual tension. I can do that pretty easily in text conversations, but in real-life it's definitely a weakness of mine. Sometimes the date even felt more like a friendly conversation instead of 2 people considering if they want to fuck each other.

 

Some things about my bodylanguage + kino:

Hug at the beginning of the date, holding eye contact almost all the time, not excessively smiling but trying to do it often, sometimes tease her about something she said, touch her arm/shoulder when I tell a funny story, go to the restroom and when I come back I sit closer to her (or next to her when we were facing beforehand), when we sit on a couch I rest my hand on her thigh and caress it later in the conversation, when we sit at a table and face each other I "accidently" touch her hand and when she doesn't pull away I hold her hand. When we sit on a couch I put my arm around her lower back and pull her closer, when she let's me pull her I go for the kiss.

 

My dates all went pretty similar:

  • met 9pm at a cosy bar 5 minutes walk from my home
  • first talked about how she came to berlin and what she studies
  • go with the flow, mostly we talk about her dream work after studying, our favorite tv-show/movie or favorite thing about berlin/her home, funny stories about our school, etc. (mostly whatever comes up in the beginning)
  • sometimes I make fun of her favorite show or her being a nerd in school and starting to lightly touch her arm/thigh
  • after 1-2 hours (when the beer is empty) I suggest that we should continue to drink a wine at my place

 

There were never long, awkward silences or so. The conversation usually flows well and it's never really uncomfortable for any of us. We laugh and share interesting stories about specific episodes of Black Mirror, laughed how fucked up the school system is or made fun of the bartender.

 

The worst experience was when one girl agreed to come back to my place, we drank wine, she made a teasing comment about my gorillapod looking like a sex toy (so there was definitely sex on her mind), we did't kiss yet and I only lightly touched her thigh in the bar. I put her glass down after talking on my couch for like 10-15 minutes and kiss her. We make out quite a bit, but after a while she lays on me facing upwards and we cuddle. She says she is tired and have to get out early so I bring her to the subway. We made out a bit more on the way and while we waited for her train. When the subway arrived I say that she should write me her number. She says she'll think about it in a teasing way and as I got home I texted her after a while she wrote me that she didn't feel any sexual attraction towards me and won't go on a second date with me.

That ending kind of sums up my entire last 3 weeks.

 

Thanks for being so patient and reading this long-ass post till the end and maybe you even have a tip on how I can improve my dating skills to finally get a second one.