Heys guys. Trying to figure out what my situation is ... I'm trying to be reasonable and do my due diligence to make sure I'm not actually the root of the issue. Because if I am, I am more than happy to address it. So thoughtful feedback is appreciated. So I've been dating this girl for about 5 months now. She is a dancer, and I am a producer, so although we are not in the exact same industries, there is a lot of overlap therefore we can talk shop, and ultimately understand the other's lifestyle. Or at least I think so. We also both live in the same area and see each other a lot. Anyway, she has a crazy schedule that is often times is unpredictable (auditions etc). Which is 100% okay in my book. Because I am also fairly busy and am pretty low key.

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All that considered I feel she doesn't show much initiative for the relationship. Outside of always wanting to text me (which seems to be big the most important thing for her), the number times where she has led the charge to hangout, or suggests a solution to something is something I could probably count on 1 hand. This isn't to say she doesn't want to hang out, she does. And we do a lot. But the entirely of the relationship relies on me bringing the relationship to her. Like a measurable example is who's apartment we stay at when we are together. I would say for every 10-15 times I stay at her apartment, she stays at mine once. I also live in a much nicer area (objectively, trust me), closer to both of where we work/spend most of our time. And on top of that, it is always me who asks to come over, or have her over. Every. Single. Time. Simply put, if I don't take the initiative, we don't hang out.

Another example is after work, I will go to her work/where ever she is in the city, to meet up with her. She will tell me a time, I will show up on time, and every single time I have to wait outside for at least 10 minutes for her to come out. Sometimes closer to a half hour. It only occurred once where I had train issues, where I was late and she had to wait for me. She was really upset. And I just couldn't understand the hypocrisy. And I pointed it out.

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Okay cool, at the end of the day making me wait/not coming over much isn't really 'that bad'. But I think the most frustrating part is how she interacts with others in her life and how she responds if I non-combatively bring up something that bothers me. Its crazy because for her rommate (for example), she will bend over backwards to make sure she is avail to meet their family or get to know their friends. But I had to pull teeth to get her to meet mine. She has met my friends oncer and my family twice. My family is the least intimidating family in the world. But whenever I try to address the things that bother me, trying my hardest to be reasonable, I almost feel invalidated for bringing them up. Like it causes her too much stress. SO usually I end up apologizing and saying this isn't relationship threatening, I just want to grow.

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After all this, there has not been a single tangible example where she has tried to better her self, or address what bothers me. Therefore, I am thinking of cutting ties with her. Asking someone to meet me 50/50 or even 60/40 seems fair, but right now it feels maybe 90/10. She is a great girl and I really like her, but I just don't feel she is ready for a real relationship or is willing to take the initiative to build one.

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