I wanted to write a reflection on my experience with girls. This is for all of you who think that fucking a ton of girls will fill a gap in your life.

When I was in high-school, I was a fucking hot shot, at least my senior year. In those years, girls are very superficial, they only liked me for my looks. I would get hit up by lots of girls and of course, I was fucking a ton. Girl after girl, party after party, it wasn't as cool as you think.

I was a stud, and everyone knew it, I quickly rose to the top of the social ladder because of my "crazy game" which was nothing more than a friend telling me a particular girl wanted to get with me. I would take them wherever and if they didn't want to escalate to sex, then I would leave. Simple, and it worked really well, my method filtered out the girls who weren't ready for or who didn't want to have sex.

About midway through the year, this wonderful girl who was a year below me added me on snapchat. This girl was one of the prettiest girls in the whole school I think, she was gorgeous, but there was a problem. She was naive as fuck. She was a good girl, very wifey material, smart, very compliant and sweet. In any other life, I would have ditched it all for her, right then and there. But I couldn't, I wasn't gonna let some flower be the reason for my demise from the top.

I told her I wasn't looking for anything exclusive one day after she texted me that she made out with this guy after I had made out with her. I confessed that I was getting with this other girl but that I should've told her because I didn't think she wanted to be exclusive. She was mad but decided to keep talking to me. I guess she thought that I would eventually get sick of the other girls and want to be with her. We would hang out every now and then, maybe once every two or three weeks. I was having sex with like 3 other girls while I had the good girl in my back pocket, I felt guilty but never said anything to her, I didn't want to hurt her feelings.

Anyway, she kept getting mad at me for getting with other girls, her friends were telling her about what was going on at parties and stuff. One day I was walking in the hall with this one hot girl who I fucked a few days before, we were flirting and I was touching her and she was reciprocating. The flower walked past us at one point and saw, I didn't notice her but she texted me and was clearly mad. We ended up going to lunch that weekend and I told her the conditions that I had set out previously: I didn't want anything exclusive. I told her that we could still talk under those terms or we weren't gonna talk at all. (I didn't say it like that, i was a bit nicer about it). She agreed to stay talking to me.

When promhouse came around, I finally told her that I wanted to end things, I told her that she was too naive for me and I wanted someone more mature. We never had sex, she was still a virgin, but I didn't want to be the one to go through all the firsts with her. She went on a rant and I did feel bad for leading her on for lack of a better term.

I continued my streak at promhouse.

Now everything that I did that year with girls led up to one moment at promhouse when I was alone in the apartment I was staying in. It was about 3:30 in the morning and I had just gotten back home from another house. I walked in and sat at the table in the kitchen, I immediately felt this hole inside of my body. Unfulfillment with myself, and with what I had wasted my time with that year. I hadn't cared about anything more than partying and fucking girls.

From this moment I realized that fucking all the girls in the world could never give you any fulfillment, the fulfillment needs to come from within. I wasn't productive at all that year, I had no purpose, I was sad inside and covered it up with girls and drinking. I wonder what would have happened if I would've just ditched it all and settled sown with that girl. Too late now. Gentlemen, it's not about the sex, it's about the relationships.