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Said something to two hot girls at a club that immediately made them change their attitude toward me.

Phenimenal

December 17, 2018

5 upvotes

/r/seduction

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Title	Said something to two hot girls at a club that immediately made them change their attitude toward me.
Author	Phenimenal
Upvotes	5
Comments	22
Date	December 17, 2018 11:35 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/a75bmk/said_something_to_two_hot_girls_at_a_club_that/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/said-something-to-two-hot-girls-at-a-club-that.1458853 https://theredarchive.com/post/1458853

Comments

[–]Chichachachi 8 points9 points10 points 7 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Phenimenal[S] 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]WeakEmu8 8 points9 points10 points 7 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]Phenimenal[S] 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]WeakEmu8 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 7 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]Phenimenal[S] 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

And here comes moral judgement...

Judgement would be insulting you in some way or saying you're bad. Go ahead and quote where I do that.

Hint: I didn't. You're assuming judgement for whatever reason.

I was only wondering if the attraction from social value wasn’t counterbalanced by the fact that women usually don’t like cheating men (or maybe I am wrong here too).

Again, I already answered this in my last message.

Unless you've been living under a rock, you already KNOW that people in general (men or women) like the idea of trying to earn the unattainable. There are men who cheat. There are women who cheat. And you know that there are people who like to have sex with cheaters.

You already know this (or at least suspect it) because you went out of your way to say that you haven't cheated. Which means you know about the concept of infidelity.

By presenting yourself as a married man at clubs, especially while on vacation or business trips, you are presenting yourself as bait for women who want a casual thing with someone like you who is unavailable.

Asking you if you should be married, is a legit question which has nothing to do with "morals" and everything to do with your own self-interest. Because if all of this seduction stuff is interesting to you, then marriage might not be right for you. Or your partner might not be the right one. Figuring this out now, rather than later, will save you a lot of time, money, and pain.

[–]Phenimenal[S] 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

See, I didn’t know that being married was a bait. I thought that being married was a seduction killer for the most part. That’s why I posted my experience here. Call me naive, that you can do.

Here's the thing about "seduction": There are different ways of going about it, and the main thing is that it's like a Choose Your Own Adventure sometimes. You make a choice and it gets you something. Make a different choice, and get a different thing.

Similarly, if a dude comes at girls hard, he's going to screen out girls who don't like that, and he'll be left with girls who like that.

And a guy who is putting himself out there, talking about being married, is going to repel some girls (the sane, healthy ones) and attract other girls (usually sirens, unstable, exciting, etc.), especially in a place like a club. So it's not like it's "bait" for all women. There are no One Size Fits All ways to attract women. It's more like you make a choice about which women you want to be dealing with.

Back to the point about the temptation of it all..... I brought it up because you enjoyed it, which means there's a risk, however slight, that you ought to be aware of.

There's a comedy bit by Bill Burr where he covers the difficulties of many celebrity men being unprepared to resist the advances of women. The interesting thing, is that the stuff he talks about, is REALLY close to what men go through when they learn how to seduce women.

Most men drift through life without a lot of direct control over who they date.... and a lot of luck. And spend a lot of time initiating dating interactions with women who usually play the role of Gatekeeper because men are usually initiating with them.

Men who learn how to seduce women, learn to flip that paradigm around and suddenly are dealing with having to learn how to say no to women who come at THEM. A lot of men get addicted to this, having spent most of their lives prior, trying to get at women who make it difficult for them. Suddenly it's easy and it feels great and guys get high off of it.

This seduction stuff is not a thing for me.

Like I said, I wouldn't judge either way. Just take care, is all. If your wife would be up for any of this sort of fun, then I highly recommend taking her along. Clubbing with her might be an interesting change of pace.

Being able to get some smiles from one of the hottest girls I have ever seen was an enjoyable feeling.

Just take care you don't get high off of it.....

[–]MrDownhillRacer 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Nils_c 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Phenimenal[S] 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Phenimenal[S] 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 7 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]Phenimenal[S] 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

There is no correlation between those 2 points. I was stating facts: I am married

There's no connection between you presumably wanting to be married and you doing things that stand a good chance of ruining your marriage? Are you listening to yourself, man?

Look, this sort of journey into seduction is complicated enough for single guys. You want to get into it, knock yourself out. But experts at this have had trouble controlling themselves once they went down the rabbit hole.

That's the point.

I was surprised by what happened. Meaning I learnt something about social value and disqualifiers when I read some answers to my post.

Surprised or not, I don't think you needed to be told that presenting yourself as a married man, got you some attention you didn't expect.

And I think you understand the concept of forbidden fruit. You presenting yourself as a married man is going to make some women relax, some women turn away, and some women who are more on the aggressive side, come at you hard because forbidden fruit is appealing to them.

Completely off topic.

We're talking about you going out and having fun. Presumably you like to have fun with your wife. Which makes it completely relevant to you.

If you see going to a club or bar as the kind of "fun" you wish to keep separate or secret from your wife, then your marriage is possibly in trouble.

But like I said before, knock yourself out; do whatever pleases you, but don't act surprised when there are consequences. This is about your own self-interest here, not judgement. I assume you wouldn't like complications and extra drama in your own life. Consider these replies of mine to be like a highway sign saying Possible Danger Ahead.

Do what you like. Just don't pretend you don't know the risks. And at least try to be honest with yourself about whether you want to drag yourself through a marriage if it's not right for you.

[–]Phenimenal[S] 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I was only sharing an experience that really surprised me. I don’t hit on girls and I don’t flirt in my daily life. Ever.

Like I said, I wouldn't care or judge if you did. You define your own boundaries, I certainly don't. ;)

On the other hand, the experience you related wouldn't really be too helpful for most of the guys here looking for help. Many of them are struggling with basic social skills and opening a girl in conversation, let alone being laid or being in a committed relationship, would all be a bit above their pay grade.

So the most that many of them would get out of this post is that they should lie to say they're married, in order to get laid, etc.

Sometimes it’s good for self-esteem to be able to know that you can also be attractive to somebody else than your SO.

Of course.....

Though you never said anything indicating this. You might understand how someone reading things like:

Also I can’t help but be super frustrated now....

Might think that you were thinking about going down the rabbit hole.

Anyway, have a good one.....