Hi guys,

I’m a woman in my late 20s, I’ve read a lot of posts about PUA and as a lesbian, a lot of the same stuff you guys post about applies. I'm here because I need advice on a situation:

Been dating a girl for a year. A few times during the relationship, the girl I was dating got confused, saying not sure if I was the one, unsure about her feelings. At one point she broke up with me. I did no contact and she contacted me sending me a novel saying that I meant a lot to her, etc We got back together, when we did she told me she only wants to date me. I was talking to others and she knew and so we decided to be exclusive.

We’d spent a lot of time together. Things were great until she went away on holidays to visit some family and started telling me she wanted to explore and she was curious about a girl she had a threesome with that was over there.

I was hurt, and I was pissed. She said she still wants to see me but wants to take things less seriously because she is confused again. She went away on holiday and I’d go back and forth being okay with being less serious abd seeing others to being hurt.

We took a break while she was away and when she came back we spent new years together. The sex was mindblowing. She did end uphaving the threesome with the couple and we discussed.

She basically said she’s not sure if she can fall in love with me and commit to me and doesn’t want me to wait for her. She says she still likes me and wants to be in each others lives. I did go on a date and make out while she was away and told her about it. She tells me it turns her on and says the reason she felt pressured in our relationship is because she doesn’t want me to miss opportunities since she is unsure about me and that pressures her.

Since then, I completely shifted how I interacted with her. Basically, I do not initiate anything. She has been the one texting me first, I’ve basically downgraded her from being a priority.

We’ve seen each other, she initiated hang outs and we have sex. I keep it very light and fun. I don’t talk about anything serious such as feelings or how I feel and been very independent. I shifted the focus from her and work on myself; work out more, hang out with friends, focus on my hobbies, read a lot.

she came over last night and we had a great time talking, joking and having mind blowing sex. I notice she mentions about the other females I see, brings them up in a curious but joking matter. Even says things when she talks about certain things “oh but i don’t think you care” which I said “of course I do.”

So we have a great time. I’m not focusing on her as much. In a way, it’s a win-win because we still see each other and enjoy each others connection but in a much less serious and pressured way and I get to see other women.

I guess I’m asking; am I on the right track? Deep inside; I do love her. She knows I do. I would love a relationship, she knows I do. But we are not at the same place. I figured the best I can do with this is keep doing what I am doing; don’t chase her and just do my own thing. Any advice guys to make this more in my favor?