Growing up as an immigrant in one country after another, I feel I have been conditioned to be pleasant, nice and unconfrontational to everyone around me.

And especially in United States avoiding controversial questions and subjects like religion, politics and how much you make at work and past relationship history.

Now I'm reading Models, which emphasizes polarization through displaying firm beliefs of who you are and what you stand for... And it's counterintuitive to me and honestly I don't know where to begin.

I've always detested and have been appalled at how some of my peers spoke and behaved without giving thought of how it may look outwardly or affect the other person negatively... Maybe some of them were borderline narcissistic, and the book touches on avoiding that behavior.

Overall, I find it very difficult to unlearn and untrain being invested in the thoughts and feelings of others, when my own survival depended on using that as a means of integration in a new country and culture.

Any other immigrants relate to this? How's your progress with overcoming this phenomenon?

I guess one positive, is that we're able to instantly polarize an encounter with someone just by stating our name and country of origin in conversation. And if they are receptive then great, and if not, we don't waste our time.