I had lunch with a friend yesterday and behind us sat two pretty women

HenSica · 2019-02-11T17:19:32+00:00

When you go up to a girl, you are (hopefully) offering a proposal for a delightfully pleasurable experience together.

When a girl says no or rejects your proposal, it’s often not saying “no” to that pleasurable good time, but no to some perceived loss that may happen. Maybe if I say yes to dinner he’s going to want me to have sex, and I feel uncomfortable saying no to the pressure of sex, so I’m just going to say no now.

In sales it’s eliciting and overcoming objections. You want this deal to happen because it’s mutually pleasurable, but there are fears of loss.

Her saying no is a good thing!! A woman needs to feel safe before she can allow herself to get turned on and have fun, and the way you can handle her no’s demonstrate trustworthiness.

Frankly there are a lot of inner game issues that are arising in your post. You take rejection personally. You believe you don’t offer sufficient value and require social proof to make up for it. You accept numbers from unenthusiastic women. You accept non polarized answers of “maybe I’ll have to see.” it may be more fruitful to examine your belief structure on dating and what beliefs are holding you back, then criticizing the state of women and dating.

how the hell is contact established at all

What? She’s right there in person. You want to leave talking to her in person so that you can persuade her on the phone to come have a date in person again?

Kenic_In_MD · 2019-02-11T16:20:19+00:00

I just can't take rejection anymore

OP, remember these words of a wise old sage that once lived in the mountains.

"FUCK IT"

You are indeed rationalizing your fears, you are telling yourself No before even giving yourself the chance. Give yourself the chance to fail and you will be surprised at how often you succeed.

CloudzTheCook · 2019-02-11T18:59:36+00:00

The answer made by u/HenSica was very complete and you should be able to improve from there.

I'll rewind back a little bit and come straight up to the beginning of your plan:

Notice those girls, eat, pay, be about to leave and right before ask for their numbers.

This is somewhat of an insecure manner to approach the interaction: you prevent yourself from feeling bad or being tested as much as possible, while voluntarily missing on the opportunity to connect directly in the restaurant.

A confident male would engage while eating, maybe throw a joke when overhearing something they said or turning around to ask for their opinion about something you were talking about with your friend. Then you would introduce yourselves and maybe develop from there into a drink together or moving somewhere in town.

2019-02-11T21:37:59+00:00

5 seconds? What sort of pleasurable experience are you going to give in 5 seconds? I’m guessing you’re doing the “wham, bam, thank you ma’am!” school of seduction... just opening and immediately closing. It’s better than nothing... but...

Try now having a conversation with them in the middle. Show interest in them as human beings, find out what they are doing, what their story is. Flirt, tease. Build and release tension. Leave them thinking “who is this breath of fresh air that just burst into my life?” Make a positive impact. Leave them wanting more of your masculine energy. Then when you contact her to ask her out, she has a reason to respond.

And yeah, what HenSica said. Mindsets - don’t convince yourself it’s pointless even before you go up. At least, you are robbing yourself of the opportunity to get to meey a beautiful lady - and at worst, robbing yourself of the chance for a deeper sexual and/or romantic connection.

Title	I had lunch with a friend yesterday and behind us sat two pretty women
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	1
Comments	4
Date	February 11, 2019 3:52 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/aphk6f/i_had_lunch_with_a_friend_yesterday_and_behind_us/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-had-lunch-with-a-friend-yesterday-and-behind-us.1462221 https://theredarchive.com/post/1462221

Comments