Field report: tips on how this approach could go better?

BackFromShadowRealm · 2019-02-12T21:12:34+00:00

You didn't build any rapport with the girl. When women are with their friends you have to win both of them over or isolate your target. After your intro, start a conversation, throw in some qualifiers, win over the group then you can exchange info. This goes double in a high energy environment like a bar

UnluckyBuilding · 2019-02-12T22:02:12+00:00

[permanently deleted]

WIA20XX · 2019-02-12T23:41:23+00:00

Facts -
- Saw a two set.
- No real plan, vague goal of getting a Facebook Add.
- walked over.
- apologized for approaching.
- went with a direct physical compliment.
- waited for reaction, gauged reaction, reaction not favorable.
- Her friend was on your side.
- Typical Introduction.
- Handshake to break the touch barrier.
- another apology.
- social proof, time constraint.
- vague promise of future meet up.
- buying question is for Facebook.
- she says no.
- You say goodbye and leave.

What you did right - - You stepped up and you were a man.
- You established carnal intent upfront.
- You broke the touch barrier with the handshake.
- You established a real time constraint.
- You left.

What you did wrong -

You don't seem to understand "pick up". That's fine, most guys on this sub don't. They haven't read any of the books or watched any of the thousands of hours of free material.

In the real world, most guys don't cold approach. They might do it on occasion, probably with some liquid courage - but most of the time it's social circles.

Most girls PREFER to find their long term relationships within their social circles or other known quantities. Girls have a dual strategy. The "good guy" is for marriage, the bad boy is for hook ups.

Guys that cold approach are successful in two ways.

Looks, Money, Status - They are good looking, look cool, have some social status (possibly money, though usually money is a turn off). They don't need to totally understand how girls think or social situations to hook up with chicks.
Psychology users - They use their personalities and understanding of how women feel and behave to hook up - This is pick up.

This is the bartender who no one cares about on the bus, but everyone loves when he's slinging Cosmo's. The bartender hooks up with random chicks, not because he's particularly attractive, but because psychology is working in his favor.

What pick up does is get the guy to demonstrate his personality, while he's aware of the social dynamics. And if he can alter the dynamics to his favor, he will. It is shit ton more complicated than going to the gym, drinking some beer, and grinding on asses at the club.

With that defined, your big issue is not using your knowledge of psychology/your personality to make yourself attractive to the girl.

Wrong Expectations - Given the scenario - your expectations for success were not in line with the facts.
Time Crunch - If you were truly pressed for time, the goal of getting contact information was the right one. Were you truly pressed for time? That's a big question.
Pre-Approach Social dynamics - You didn't assess the social dynamics between the girls. What were they talking about? What was their body language towards each other before you stepped up? Was there anything going on between them that a regular person could see and use a conversational topic.
Apology 1 - "This might be random" - You apologized/explained your self before you got to the compliment. That was unnecessary and makes you look unnecessarily weak.
Beauty compliment - You went with a physical compliment to an obviously attractive girl. That means you're pretty tone deaf about what girls go through, and what guys typically say to them.

And there's probably some weird idea in your mind that if you compliment a girl/be nice to a girl, she'll be nice to you. In theory that's fine, but a cute girl is flooded with "nice" all the time, and rarely does she reciprocate the niceness in a way that is pleasing to the guy.

Basically you can't nice your way into her bed.

Didn't treat them as a group - You didn't address the friend, or treat the two of them as a unit. Even if your statement was neutral, they both knew you were going for the hot girl.
Boring Guy opener - You went with a typical normal guy seeking rapport approach. My name is + handshake.
There was not any attempt to demonstrate personality to the girls. So you're basically ignoring the whole point of pick up.
You apologized AGAIN. Sorry to bother you
Your internet close was for the worst possible option - Facebook - where she has all of her friends and family (if she even still uses it).
You didn't use your friend. You could have brought him in as wing man, or you could have brought him in as a pawn/prop.

All in all, given the scenario and your approach to it, you got the expected results.

If you watch any of the low level nice guy YouTube players, this is what they tell you to do. Do it enough, and some girl will like you despite the approach.

If you were a male model, this approach would have went well. But nearly any male model approach would have went well.

Direct Approaches in general

Whenever you make a direct approach, (compliment + hi, or hi + compliment) - that combination triggers -

her auto response (OMG another clueless guy trying to pick me up), and
the physical compliment forces the girl to make a decision on your physical fuckability at first glance.

Fuckability - height, face, muscles and to a lesser extent style - but it's primitive mind asking "Would this guy give me a strong baby?") without the benefit of experiencing your shining personality. Most guys lose on raw fuckability. This is not merely a good looking guy, this is the guy that sober girls approach regularly.

So what do regular guys do?

A non-male model can make a direct approach and get good results, but what does he do to get those good results?

He injects his personality.

The PUA injects personality before he gets to the buying question just to give the girl something more to go on than her immediate emotional impression.

When you chat up a girl, she should be fucking excited to talk to you, like you're a drug.

Keep in mind, A lot of chicks, even hot ones at the club who got dressed for the sole purpose of attracting male attention, are straight up STARTLED when a random guy comes up to them.

So part of the pick up artists sequence is to slow things down just enough, establish just enough safety, and then give her a chance to get over that initial pump of adrenaline. Because if you ask any startled person to do something, they're going to shut down and say no.

In your case, even with the weak greeting, introduction, and handshake - the injection of personality would come in the form of a joke, story, provocative statement, cold read, leading question, or any other ice breaker that you can think of.

Just having a conversational nugget in your back pocket, extends the interaction, and gives the girl more emotional information to make a decision on.

The real missed opportunity here was with your friend. Introducing him to them, or them to him...would have given you a lot more to work with. But if you couldn't merge the sets, you had could only do it this way.

I get it.

I've been in this situation before. Out with one set of friends, see a cutie, and have to make a quick approach, inject personality, and close.

When this works for me, I happen to inject a huge piece of my personality that really resonates with the GROUP. Get a side splitting laugh out of someone, you can grab everyone's number/snap chat/instagram for later.

That being said, the contact information might not be any good - that is, I get a number/snap but she's not going to go out anytime soon. So from the outset collecting contact information and hoping for dates won't be the primary way to get romance.

Title	Field report: tips on how this approach could go better?
Author	UnluckyBuilding
Upvotes	0
Comments	5
Date	February 12, 2019 8:29 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/apxuil/field_report_tips_on_how_this_approach_could_go/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/field-report-tips-on-how-this-approach-could-go.1462296 https://theredarchive.com/post/1462296

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