Long time lurker, first time poster, so new account.

Been seeing this girl for like a year - plenty of great sex and good times together. I always thought I was red pill and that's what kept her interested in me all this time. The truth is, I was basically into her in a serious way (otherwise I wouldn't be upset enough to post about it now that it's over). I thought I did all the right things: I lift, I fucked her well, I didn't put her on a pedestal. I treated her well but always acted like a man. I was never needy, always dominant and in control.

On many occasions she made a point of saying 'we're friends with benefits', 'we are not a couple'. And you know what? I was fine with that. Deep down I really liked her, but I also thought, a beta response would be to say 'oh but please be my girlfriend'. It's what I wanted, but I knew the moment I said that she's already have run 100 miles before I could say 'beta'. So I acted like I didn't care, and I basically didn't, because she just coming round to my house for more, not just sex, but time with me.

Now it's all over and I'm not sure how, why. The other day I told her we should take a weekend somewhere together. A foreign city. I only mentioned that because we were going to go with a bunch of other people who ended up bailing out of the plan, so I said fuck it, let’s go without them. 72 hours later she starts a conversation on the basis that she doesn't want to do that because she's afraid it would have taken our ‘friendship’ to another level she didn’t want. That she was afraid of the ‘expectations’ I was having of our arrangement.

And here my redpill bros, what do I do?

I say: if that’s how you feel then maybe we shouldn’t see each other. I basically admit that our ‘arrangement’ isn’t what I want. I need something more. Boom. She cries, I walk her back to the train station. She leaves, red eyed, and I walk home wondering what the fuck just happened.

The reason I’m posting is that I think I didn’t handle it well. Of course that presenting her with an all or nothing choice made her freak out, I can see that now, but by the same account, we have been seeing each other for ages now, and knew each other before, she should know by now if she’s my girlfriend or not, so maybe I did do the right thing after all?

Or should I have considered this as a mere nuclear-level shit test? I’m in need of some serious red pill here. I’m quite sure that the way she started that conversation, the tone of her voice that suddenly became so serious, she wanted to have that talk because she sensed I was more into her than her into me. I want to hear that I did the right thing, but if the red pill is that I fucked up, then I have to hear that too. Please advise, /redpill bros.