Re-attracting an ex - we're meeting up to catch-up

NYCMusicMarathon · 2019-05-28T02:11:20+00:00

You haven't really broke up with her, you are both just horny.

SaveMyElephants · 2019-05-28T02:49:18+00:00

Go in not needy and confident. Display that you have moved on and are happy even without her in your life. Mild flirting but not aggressive. Don’t try to be an asshole just confident. Bring up a new aspect of yourself that you have developed while you were apart.

Sheroclan · 2019-05-28T02:49:18+00:00

Wait what? She broke up with you 10-11 months ago but she broke up with you again 10 days ago?

What is the outcome you're actually looking for here? How much do you think you've actually changed in 10 days?

jam-unam · 2019-05-28T03:31:17+00:00

Let it go and move on. There is a girl out there that is better for you.

recyclablebanthas · 2019-05-28T04:09:06+00:00

1

Context: I pretty much treated her less as a lover, saw her less often (long distance), and treated the dates as more like a best friend meet up towards the end of the relationship, and she started to see me less of a lover/man in her life, and broke up with me.

So the relationship fell apart on its own merits. Long distance isn't sustainable.

You indicate that you saw her more as a friend and so did she. So why all the fuss about trying to get her back or whether to escalate or any of that?

2

How should I approach this meeting?

If you want to be friends with her, carry on with no worries and stop fussing about what you talk about.
If you want casual sex? This is a terrible candidate because you seem too ready to invest too deeply.
If you want something serious? The relationship already failed, so this is out also.

3

Hey /seddit/, so I ended up breaking a no-contact rule with my recent ex, and we're going to meet up for lunch and catch-up as friends/gain some closure.

The problem with making a "rule" like this is that it doesn't imply that there was any development, one way or the other, on your end, to process the break-up.

Having a rule to establish some boundaries and remember who you are without that other person, is fine and necessary. But to be clear, just having the rule is pointless if you do nothing to recover in the meantime.

4

This wasn't too long ago, roughly 10 or so days

She broke it off with me way earlier in the relationship as well, let's say 10-11 months ago?

....before I hit her up the week after to re-connect, and she basically wanted the exclusive label pretty much the next day

So let's recap:

It sounds like the spark has gone out and you're like a married couple that doesn't have sex or passion anymore.
You hardly get to see each other because of the long distance, and neither of you have done a thing to address the distance, even after more than a year of dating.
She keeps using break-ups as a communication method, which is dysfunctional as fuck.
You're both coming off desperate enough that you keep coming back together. Even though being together is roughly the same as being apart, considering the long distance. It just means that neither of you get to meet people where you are. You're cock-blocking each other at this point.

There's nothing to play here. You're playing yourself if you go back again.

Title	Re-attracting an ex - we're meeting up to catch-up
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	4
Comments	18
Date	May 28, 2019 2:04 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/btubx4/reattracting_an_ex_were_meeting_up_to_catchup/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/re-attracting-an-ex-were-meeting-up-to-catch-up.1469903 https://theredarchive.com/post/1469903

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