I'm an ex-incel, suggestions on what to do?

CuteJessica1989 · 2019-06-06T12:44:13+00:00

Strike while the iron is hot. I always waited to long. The IOIs you described are a good start.

Definitly ask her out! Try avoiding actually asking her "do you wanna go out with me? Use the dinner as an opener: -Yeah it was fun (sth. like that) -I enjoyed talking to you and want to spend time with you. -I know this nice cafe. When are you free?

I suggest using a coffee shop as it's inexpensive casual, easy to walk away from in case sth. really goes bad AND most importantly it's easy to create body contact by grabbing her hand at the table or using your hand to guide her in by putting your hand on her lower back and gently pushing her through the door (hard to pull of if you don't know what I mean. For Christ's sake don't shove her!) Try push and pull, to get her invested. E.g. grab her hand and compliment her ring or her nails or, keep holding her hand look her in the eyes while chatting and then let go of the hand. That doesn't work with necklaces (bc. hands are kinda public space and the necklace is close to the face. Also don't hold her hand and compliment her on her soft skin. She chose the accesories, her skin is just there. It's the difference between being into her and being into her body) Then see how she reacts.

In case the conversation goes flat tell a pleasant little story of your last holiday and ask her about hers: what did you enjoy about it? It's specific yet open ended with lots of conversation trails being created.

"It's 5% about what you say, the rest is about how you say what you don't say"

When moving in for the kiss, it's totally fine to take tour chair and move next to her. No one cares!

My personal experience: Don't just kiss her when you feel like it. Wait for a "mutual tension" like everybody is beating around the bush that way you can be sure(ish) that she's ready and that you created some sexual tension, which is good. Sex isn't only about fucking.

If she rejects you, it's ok to be dissappointed and to feel hurt. It's not ok to dwell on those feelings because then you allow them to define/control you. Also: if you don't like her you can reject her. You're not there to kiss her. You're there to see if you want to kiss her. And then to kiss her 😀

Imperator_Pyra · 2019-06-06T12:45:00+00:00

If you want to ask her out, do it in person, not over text. Also, make it clear that you actually want a romantic one-on-one this time. Don't make the same mistake your friend did.

And if she rejects you? No big deal. It's part of the game. Tell her to just take it as a compliment, and then go talk to other women.

And please, no slut-shaming. We want women to have sex with us. It just doesn't make sense to shame them for it.

EDIT: a typo.

ArmitageShanks69 · 2019-06-22T12:38:23+00:00

I'm the opposite, an ex-non-incel. I had minimal interactions with women from the age of 18-39 then became incel at 40 when nature slammed the door to the dating pool shut in my face, put a padlock on it and threw away the key.

Title	I'm an ex-incel, suggestions on what to do?
Author	chris_06_04_2001
Upvotes	2
Comments	17
Date	June 6, 2019 12:07 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/bxfys9/im_an_exincel_suggestions_on_what_to_do/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/im-an-ex-incel-suggestions-on-what-to-do.1470733 https://theredarchive.com/post/1470733

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