There's a concept in the book that I can't grasp.

The first part of the book was amazing, and it did pretty good things for my inner game which I've been needing for a while now. It's all about being polarizing, accepting you won't match with everyone, and developing yourself and being totally authentic so you can attract people who actually interest you... Lots of things clicked for me and I was enjoying this book a lot. I ended up going out with a male friend and a few girls and had a great night with this mindset of just having fun and not chasing a specific reaction and having a polarizing mindset of "Love me or hate me, this is me".

But a few chapters after this Mark spends a whole chapter on valuing others, and I think I get it theoretically but... it doesn't really click for me? I can't connect it with this previous part?

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Maybe it's because I see myself too much in Mark's story. Basically in this chapter Mark says that he used to judge people. So if he got rejected it would be the woman's fault for not being his type, or being uninteresting, or whatever. And this is something I do, for better or worse. I've made a few posts about this on this and other subs, and it's something that got me to contact my college therapist, but I'm awful at getting along with most people my age (early 20s) in college. At the same time, I'm good at getting along with people (talking both guys and girls) outside college who already have jobs or have active interests/hobbies (usually 25+).

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What ended up happening, as I saw people around me in college interacting with each other (always playing around, always looking for opportunities to make a joke, drinking, always highly energetic, etc.), is that I ended up depressed for not being able to fit in. And at the same time I recently also began being totally rejected and cast aside by the groups I did fit in. A few comments I've heard in these groups go along the lines of "Gee it's impossible to have an interesting, serious conversation with you nowadays, it's like I'm talking to a kid from your class". And at the same time I'm not good enough at it that I actually fit in with my class. What happened is a guy, who I despise, in my class is this very loud, constantly-making-jokes, highly energetic guy, and everyone in my class likes him while I'm constantly cast aside, so I tried to be like him (and failed because that's not my style at all). At the same time, older (more mature, I would say) people got to know him and hated him as much as I do, so the more I tried to become like him, the more they started hating me as well.

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So anyway, went to therapy, therapist said I need to value myself more, and not be afraid to see these other people as uninteresting. It doesn't mean I think they are worthless, but my therapist said I should only allow myself to get validation first from myself, and then from other people I value (people with interests and active lives outside school, people who don't drink until they are black-out drunk, etc.).

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This seems to crash with Mark's advice. And it seems to crash with his advice earlier in the book as well. As I read this chapter, I got the feeling Mark was saying "Well, if X type of girl doesn't like you, then don't blame it on her, blame it on you". This makes it seem like you could get any type of girl if you were only good enough for it? What happened to the polarizing theory explained on earlier chapters? What am I missing?