First things, first. No cynicism. No snide replies.

If you're willing to follow rules 1 and 2, read onward, after the jump. One further request, I ask you to read carefully so you don't misunderstand, etc.


Long story short is I'm a socially-challenged guy, not exactly young, no status, etc, and because I'm not really able to attend social events, all I can do is try and work on my online game. I've been attempting "online game" for lack of a better expression, for a long-ass time, and the number of replies I get is paltry. And if I do get a reply, whatever I say next is 90% certain to end the conversation. So I need help with these skills, dude!

Is anyone willing to help with either of these 2 things:

1) Writing a good ad that can omit mention of career, money, and social activity given I don't really have those things (hence, "abnormal.") In other words, how to write an intriguing self-description, without being normal. For now, I only want to post ads in small-market areas, for instance "r4r" but eventually, I may head to large market (Tinder, dating sites) once I master the art of not being bothered by 8000+ rejections before anything happens, etc.

2) Communicating through text. There's some HUGE skill I'm missing here and I can't figure it out by myself. Basically whatever I write in short-texting format it turns 90% of them off instantly--basically 9 out of 10 never reply again. This appears to be caused by a severe deficit in "wit" more than any other single factor. Put another way, I don't know how to communicate with women, need help with this skill.

thanks, anyway