I posted a while back here (old post) - You don't have to read the post but it provides a better context of the situation if you have the time to read.

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Paraphrasing the old post... Started developing feelings for a girl I met at the gym, we texted/'social mediaed' an unsustainable amount (00s messages a day!) e.g. we are Snapchat number 1 friends for nearly 2 months straight now producing the most haunting hearts icon to suggest you're together... total period to meeting and now is about 8 weeks. We had met up for drinks, coffees and some other things as well as gym training together. Nothing physical happened, only one night out after a little too much she got overly friendly (just simply lots of hugging hand holding and arm locking as well as taking care of her, I know I sound 12 years old but she's genuinely not much of a physical person). She also knew pretty much that I liked her from the way I acted and from what some mutuals had said plus messages she's seen in a gym group chat from before. Also, a fair few people keep asking/have asked if we're a thing or if we're going out and stuff.

She recently went away on holiday. Just before she went on holiday I was going to do the 'confession' talk but didn't to avoid major awkwardness. Anyways, she returned the other day and we had the conversation by text, but essentially live text conversation as I was at work and so was she, plus it had been eating into my brain so much that I just had to do it.

The construct of the messaging was basically (again paraphrasing):

Me - 'I like you, we get on extremely well and enjoy each other's company, which we've said to one another. I understand that you're not in the headspace necessarily for a relationship as you and I have discussed, which I respect and understand. (Her past relationship was not a good one emotionally and physically which I think is quite key with the lack of physicality piece). I don't want it to change anything between us but it was a cloud over my head, I like you as a person and I'd still like to talk and hang out. How do you feel?'

Her - 'Yeah we get on really well, in the short time that we've been chatting and hanging out you have become one of my closest friends. Saying that I do just see you as a friend and sorry that might not be the answer you'd hoped for. Makes me happy that you don't want it to impact anything as I really enjoy hanging out and l want to carry on as normal as I like our chats.'

Me - ' I was going to message pre-holiday but thought better of it. I appreciate the honesty, it was never going to be an ultimatum thing. I don't get on with many girls this well and I'm just curious overthinking everything, for my own clarity, is it more of a timing thing or generally something you can't see/want?'

Her - 'I like that we're really open and I genuinely value your views and opinions so I want to hear them. Not sounding like a massive b***h, to be completely honest it's not something that I'd want, I really just value you as a friend.'

Her - (to another message) 'Hahaha you know me soooo well'

Me - 'You don't sound like a b***h, you feel how you feel and I feel how I feel. It is a bit of a sting which I'm sure you can understand but it's tolerable.'

Her - 'I completely understand, and of course, if you want a bit of space I get that too'

Me - 'Yeah, a little bit of space is probably a good thing to get my headspace in check. This doesn't mean like disappearing or ignoring.'

Her - 'On the case, I'll be here with my olive branch as and when you are ready'

Me - Just a thumbs up reply

END OF THE SERIOUS CHAT

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There are still just a few things circling in my head and I'm kind of looking for objective thoughts on the situation really and next steps/process from now:

- She ticks 80+% of my boxes and because we get on so well emotionally, same lifestyle and outlook am I right in just presuming that she doesn't find me physically attractive? Or is it just one of those things where she may just not be ready for something, want to commit to/fall for someone yet given her past relationship? Like I said, in conversations we've had, she has said she did want to 'fly solo'.

- Literally in the subsequent hours/day (last night to now), she's been Whatsapping/Insta/Snapchat/Facebooking me in the same way as before, the same volume and chat. For me, this has been hard as I realise when I chat to her obviously I have feelings but it seems just like a non-event for/to her? I did also say that I'd like to still chat and hang out etc but at the moment it's quite a hard thing for me to do...

- It is quite painful as I don't really click/connect like this ever with girls, I tend to have to scope out a lot before I find a potential, gauging the personality properly.

- Can her mind change? I am NOT hanging onto this hope/TRYING NOT to hang on to this hope as that's a psychological hole you can't get out of.... but is it something that could develop if we continue to talk and stuff? Also, with the distance thing how do I go about doing this in a polite way? Will distance actually work? Especially as we see each other in the gym almost every day/other day and I am a polite person so feel bad about just going incognito.

- She never wanted to bring up this chat even though she knew as she said it would be awkward and didn't want it to change things, but the earlier honesty would've been really appreciated as I think it kind of dragged my feelings deeper and deeper even though she knew her feelings but just didn't want to bring it up?

- Questions that I have for her still are like: 'Had she ever thought anything was there?', 'Did I miss an opportunity?', 'Were any of those initial meetups perceived to her as dates?', 'Does she think her mind can change?', 'Do her friends know/have they said anything to her about it?'

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TL;DR - Talking and meeting constantly with girl, met 8 weeks ago. Nothing physical physical has happened. Both mutually enjoy talking, company and value the other's views/opinions. I have crush/feelings, let it known. She said regards me a one of her closest friends and wants to continue hanging and chatting. I still have some questions, shall I distance, can get mine change, is it just I'm not physically attractive enough. Can't shake the feeling yet, she's continuing to chat kind of as if nothing has happened.

Really appreciate it.