So I’ve been crushing on this girl, let’s call her Kiana. She’s a cutie and I really like her style. The type of girl I could see myself settling down with. The few times that we’ve hung out we’ve clicked and gelled really well together. It flowed so easily. I felt there was a connection and mutual admiring of each other.

Though whenever I followed up with her the day after or whenever later, I’d get the silent treatment. Hardly even a text back. It felt like I was talking to a different person. I stopped being flirty over text because it made me feel like I was trying too hard and frankly it made me uncomfortable. I thought okay, maybe she isn’t a texter (she also doesn’t have any social media accounts) so I tried calling instead to talk in person. I guess you could say calling her worked out better, but still we hardly talked and I couldn’t tell if she was actually into me or if she was just being friendly.

I feel like I’ve made it pretty clear to Kiana that I’m interested in her. I’ve tried to dance with her at the club, she declined, I invite her out all the time, I flirt with her over the phone and over text... but I never got much if any reciprocation from her. After weeks of trying and eventually giving up on her, she invites me out at 2am to hang out with her and some friends. We all have a good night and party till 6am, but nothing happens besides enjoying each other’s company.

We text a little bit here and there and she suggests we should hang out sometime when I get back from my trip. It isn’t much but I feel like it’s progress. Great I think.

I get back from my trip and I invite her and her friends out on multiple occasions. I hardly hear back from Kiana. Though her good friend Jess has been much more receptive. I figure sweet, I can talk to Jess to get her to bring Kiana out more. Kiana always seems to be following Jess around everywhere anyway.

I invite them both out to a show I’m playing at. Only Jess responds. Not only that, she’s also bringing four friends to watch me play, each paying $25 a ticket for an EDM show that I’m opening up for the main act. She even goes way out of her way to buy tickets off of me and even convinces two more fiends to come to the show. I’m starting to feel like maybe there could be something there with Jess.

Jess is really cute too, but I’m not attracted to her like I am for Kiana. Though admittedly my patience for Kiana is wearing thin and I feel like I’m being friend zoned.

Well the show happens and Kiana doesn’t show. Jess and all her friends are there, it was an amazing show, we all get drunk and have fun partying to the rest of the main act. Jess and I start dancing, grinding with one another, getting handsy, and eventually making out with one another. Later that night, we all meet up at the club with kiana and Jess and I are all over each other. At this point, I’m not even thinking about Kiana anymore. I forget she’s even there. Eventually I take Jess home and we have an amazing night together.

The next day, Kiana and Jess talk. Kiana probes Jess while she’s in a clearly irritable mood, asking if anything happened between us and asking Jess if she was into me. If she likes me, etc... Jess lies and tells her no, nothing happened. Jess tells me to say that nothing happened if Kiana asks.

A couple of weeks go by, and I see them both at the club. I say Hi, expecting a warm welcome from my friends, but Jess barely says hi. Kiana comes up and kinda sorta playfully punches me in the stomach and walks away. I talk to them later in a different setting, trying to be friendly, but only Jess talks to me. She’s also being distant though.

The next day, Jess texts me and asks if anything ever happened between Kiana and I. I tell her no, we’ve never even hung out one on one before. Though Jess suggests something must’ve happened otherwise she wouldn’t be acting that way. I assure her, nothing happened besides possible flirting on my end that wasn’t reciprocated by Kiana. Jess says okay well she must’ve thought otherwise, either way, we can’t continue with whatever it was that Jess and I had. I agree and tell her yeah we should stop seeing and texting each other.

But I’m still so confused. I feel like I’ve just lost two friends. I also feel like I’ve lost any chance I’ve ever had with the girl that I actually really liked. I want to reach out to Kiana and apologize, but I don’t want to jeopardize her friendship with Jess either. Jess doesn’t want Kiana to know what we did, she made me swear not to say anything. I’m sure Kiana would pry and ask for details about what happened. I’m not a good liar so I don’t trust myself not to let anything slip, or she’d probably be able to read me like a book and figure it out on her own. I feel terrible though. I never meant to hurt anybody. We have a lot of mutual friends. I’m sure she’s telling everybody I’m a dick head.

What in the world can I do to make things right? Is that even possible or should I just let it go?