What is with this whole "you must be a good commodity FIRST before you look for woman" stuff I've been seeing lately. That can't be true.

I mean, for those folks saying such things, do you mean to say it's a fact that a man must be living like his peers in his age group?

Like this? if you're in your 30s, you must be very independent, established, resourceful, with at least SOME social network--and that's the bar you need to pass first, before anything happens?

Because, say it ain't so, bro, I don't have any of that. I'm an outsider, a loser of the highest degree--and that's for real, not exaggerated.

I'm seeing a lot of troubling implications of the role of status and age-related standards here, lately. Of course looks play a role also, and I'm not perfect there but not the worst either. It's all the other stuff that causes a problem for me. I cannot live normally, cannot socialize in groups, cannot work in public. I'm late 30s, too. Yes I am autistic and semi-disabled, before you ask.

There are folks who tell me "decent women would be into a guy like that, provided he goes to social groups and approaches, with confidence" but couldn't that be fallacy?