Suggest some direct openers

pnadlerlaw · 2019-09-19T12:57:47+00:00

Canned direct openers?

It depends how good looking you are. If you’re good looking, you’re well groomed, you’re dressed well, you’re confident and have a healthy sense of self esteem (not too confident, and a bit restrained, humble and modest), you can actually open up with things that “sound” crazy when you read them on here, but sound very natural, playful and funny when you say them irl.

“Excuse me,” (attention grabber), “do you have 2-3 minutes?” (soft physical attraction test) “do you mind if I try and get your number?” (hard physical attraction test).

Now, hold your horses. I know what you’re automatically thinking. “No way I would say that. That’s so desperate and coming from a position of weakness.” To that, I’ll say, absolutely ... it can be coming from a position of weakness and desperation ... if that’s where it’s actually coming from.

Alternatively, however, it can be a very playfully funny and sarcastic jab (not at her) at the flirting process between men and women. You’re poking fun at the process. You’re calling yourself out from the get-go, but in a funny and playful way.

The attention grabber and soft test are the easy part. The hard part is the hard test. You walk a tight rope of navigating her feelings.

You don’t want to come across as too cocky and confident, because then, you’re presenting her with an ego and dominance challenge, and asking her to be submissive from the get-go, to which she will naturally reject very easily by simply saying no. Don’t trigger the knee-jerk ego defense mechanism. Respect her autonomy and independence as a person.
You’re being courteous. You’re telling her, without actually saying it in words, “I’m not asking for your number. I’m asking for 2-3 minutes of your time, to talk to you. And if you want, because I’m certainly not entitled to anything, I would love to exchange contact info so I could hit you up later and talk some more.” It takes social intelligence and being secure with yourself as a man to be able to extend courtesy to a woman you’re talking to for the first time, instead of having an approach where you’re basically being defensive and protecting your ego. Not all women will appreciate this, but most will.
You’re not being 100% serious. It’s a joke. You’re poking fun at the process. You’re having fun and playfully sharing your opinion about how men hit on women (with her), and seeing if she agrees .. by finding it funny. Why do people laugh? Shared agreement of beliefs is one big reason and trigger for laughs. This is essentially a “joke/humor” opener disguised as a rando stranger annoying opener.
it’s super efficient. From attention grabber to rejection of your hard test, what have you spent? 30 seconds? Alternatively, if your hard test isn’t rejected, what has she just implicitly said “yes” to? “Do you mind if I try and get your number?” Again, ego defenses. She has multiple ways “out.” She doesn’t “mind,” if you “try.” She’s not agreeing to giving you her number. So, she still has a little bit of the excitement of the chase and game.

Lastly, when you open up this way, it takes the power and reward away from the act or moment of exchanging contact info. It’s not like you “got/earned/were rewarded with” her number. At the same time, it’s not like she made some kind of valuable concession. A lot of men and women feel that way, and this moment becomes an emotionally charged step in the process. By opening up overtly, but in a playfully sarcastic way, you rob and take away any power this moment has. You’ve already both laughed at it. It was funny because it made fun of the process and that moment in the process. So it’s emotionally inconsistent to now turn it into an emotionally charged moment. And the reality is, it shouldn’t be and it isn’t. It’s just two people attracted to each other exchanging contact info ... so they can get in touch and fuck sometime later.

But you can’t talk fast and nervous when you go with this. You need to speak clearly, slowly, and relaxed, especially when you say, “try and get your number.” You also need to be mindful of your facial expressions. Your face should subtly (but not so subtly) convey that you’re joking and being playful.

Please don’t be discouraged if you try this on (9) people and get shot down (9) people in a row. It’s a numbers game. You’re not looking for those kinds of women anyway. When you start hitting things off with someone following this opener, chances are good that the chemistry and energy should be high. You have to have good speed-date style follow-up questions for your 2-3mins.

NOT

where are you from?
what do you do?
favorite “thing to do” on your free time? (it makes being feel boring)

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joeyh2ro · 2019-09-19T10:37:50+00:00

Circumstantial mate..

If you're trying to be slick, go with an open ended slick question :"why cant the bus ever be on time when you need it to be *scoff*", and then work from there. (Sentence ends, use the last word/meaning in it to start a new sentence, eventually a conversation will sprew.)

If you're trying to get to know them: a chill compliment regarding her tattoos, hair, bag, dress, glasses, pet, phone cover. Then work from there.

If you are hanging out with people and you want to talk to her, direct your attention towards her at the right time, and say hey. Work from there.

Just a couple small things I guess.

2019-09-19T08:13:00+00:00

Oh my God, I can't believe I found you:

Miss New Booty.

aten · 2019-09-19T08:26:24+00:00

‘hi’

thunderps · 2019-09-19T08:52:12+00:00

i want you to have my daughter

Title	Suggest some direct openers
Author	_imayush_
Upvotes	6
Comments	6
Date	September 19, 2019 7:24 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/d6al0p/suggest_some_direct_openers/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/suggest-some-direct-openers.1479020 https://theredarchive.com/post/1479020

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