How do i get myself to talk to women? I don't care about attracting them, i trust myself that i can, and i'm never sad after rejection, but rather feel liberated for acting how i decide... But i feel like i can't even control my body, and that makes me suffer

grrinchas · 2020-01-12T22:40:21+00:00

I know exactly how you feel. And "slave to my thought prison" is really nice way to put it.

I create image of myself in other people heads and then afraid to break it. Some people known me as a just a "geek", some women know me as a "playboy", some strangers know me as "weird guy". And it's very weird, when I talk with people who know me as a "geek", I automatically adapt to this persona and can't break it.

So I thought I will do an experiment.

Moved to a new house with new roommates. And I adopted Nice Guy persona. I was helpful, friendly etc. But then I sad fuck it. I will break this shit. So I started to act as an asshole. I refused to clean kitchen, don't give money etc. And my roomate were very surprised and she sad "Why do you act like that?" I sad to her, "That I am not nice person" and she "I know you are Nice Guy, something is troubling you?".

Do you see what is happening?

When people make first impression or perception about you, they don't want to break this perception. Because if they do, then it means they made wrong judgment about the person. It goes very far. So far that they justify person's wrong behaviour, just to keep that initial image of the person in tact.

So not only us protect this image, but also other people protect it as well. Which is very interesting.

Back to the story. It really pissed me of that she called me a nice guy. So one day I just called her a fat pig. You see my roommate was overweight and she went to the gym. And guess what, I did managed to break that image of myself. In her eyes I was no longer a Nice Guy, but just some asshole. After that neither she, nor I talked to each other. After a week I moved to another house.

So the conclusion of experiment is:

It is very hard to break your image.

So whatever you will do. People will see you as who they used to. Their brains will adapt your new behaviour to that image. Therefore, there is no reason to be afraid.

Insaneflirt_max · 2020-01-13T02:05:51+00:00

Practice

quinnmcd · 2020-01-13T02:38:02+00:00

This post/comment has been removed because it violates Rule #5: The topic is too broad, has been covered a lot already, or involves the assumption overly limited by race, age, physical limitations/appearance, and/or other inborn external qualities.

Put in some reading & work before asking questions that have been addressed, like: * How do I approach? * How do I get a number? * How do I talk to girls at college? * How/When do I kiss a girl? * Does this really work?

As for the last one, it is an answered question. There have been many posts on physical limitations over the years, including this one. No need to re-ask it.

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