Why is getting a girl on to a date from dating apps so hard?

Lumpy306 · 2020-02-16T00:03:24+00:00

Bear in mind that they don't know you. You're asking a girl to meet you in a public place, where safety isn't guaranteed. Are you trying to close the deal after a few messages? Give it a few days. Moving too quickly is a red flag.

tamziwamzi · 2020-02-16T00:07:27+00:00

There’s a lot of weird people/catfishes on dating apps, so asking them out after a few messages is going to seem creepy. Wait a week or 2! Get to know them a bit and slowly try to add the idea of meeting up in person.

ilikepie145 · 2020-02-16T00:04:22+00:00

Just bad luck honestly man. Girls ghost guys a lot on dating apps. You will find ones that are willing to go out with you. Just takes some patience I guess

Ice666White · 2020-02-16T12:27:06+00:00

If you saw the stuff at https://www.facebook.com/groups/MessageGame/ you wouldn't think it's hard.

DeadlyMoons · 2020-02-16T14:45:51+00:00

Speaking about dating apps I think most people are in there for attention (receiving compliments, flirty banter) or casual sex. Im one of those girls who LOVES to flirt, once a date is mentioned I kind of pussy out.. I realise this was a self destructing manner and deleted all dating apps. I actually date guys now whom I’ve met in real life. Meeting strangers from the internet is just too scary for me

jorstar · 2020-02-16T17:04:48+00:00

My guess is you haven’t built enough emotional connection, excitement, or reasons for her to want to go to the next step and get to know you more. You’re expecting to get a date way too fast.

I have dated many dozens of women from dating apps to the point I’ve gotten burnt out and no longer want to use them. My opinion on dating apps now is they’re are actually too easy, not too hard.

First thing’s first for you though: You have to reframe how you’re looking at dating apps. Ask yourself what it would be like if using dating apps was too easy. What would it feel like if you had too many girls wanting to meet and date you? Wouldn’t you want to learn more about them before you committed your time and money to going out on a date? You’d want to filter out the the bad ones and escalate to a date with the good ones.

You also mentioned you’re an average guy “like the rest of us here”. That comment tells me that you’re not looking at and celebrating what makes you unique, special, and you. You’ve got some inner work to do so that you see and convey what makes you different from all the other dudes out there. There has to be something. If you’ve had past girlfriends or hookups, dig deep and try to figure out what made them attracted to you initially. Lean into whatever that is.

Finally, consider adding one or two more steps before you ask for a date. When she’s engaged and laughing, tell her you have to run, but you’d love to continue chatting over text another time. I liked to use the line, “So now comes the really awkward part where I ask for your number”. (I’ve also used that line when asking for a date.)

Anyway there’s lots more I could say, but see what it’s like to not rush the ask for a date. Build up to it by getting her number, maybe chatting on the phone (nobody your age is doing that, so it could backfire or it could make you stand out like a confident dude). Wait till the convo’s at a high, then suggest getting together for some fun activity or whatever. This may be within the first few hours, but it most likely will be after days of off & on chatting.

Good luck!

quinnmcd · 2020-02-16T21:56:39+00:00

This post/comment has been removed because it violates Rule #5: The topic is too broad, has been covered a lot already, or involves the assumption overly limited by race, age, physical limitations/appearance, and/or other inborn external qualities.

Put in some reading & work before asking questions that have been addressed, like: * How do I approach? * How do I get a number? * How do I talk to girls at college? * How/When do I kiss a girl? * Does this really work?

As for the last one, it is an answered question. There have been many posts on physical limitations over the years, including this one. No need to re-ask it.

smoothmax · 2020-02-16T01:25:16+00:00

A hot 20-something girl told me, her and her friends use Tinder only to look for for hot looking, fit guys with muscles and 6 packs. They don't like dating guys from work because of professional issues and slut shaming from female co-workers, and at the bar they are hit on endlessly by beta males with bad clothes, bad grooming and bad manners. And mostly not very fit.

So they use Tinder looking for casual or short term hookups with hot guys. There is no way they are going to waste time matching and going on dates with guys who don't look hot right out of the box.

If you learn traditional game then you at least have a chance to make an impression on women with your grooming, manners, charm and conversation, eye contact and other body language such as dancing and whatever. All the stuff that is impossible to convey on Tinder.

Title	Why is getting a girl on to a date from dating apps so hard?
Author	johnnyphanikaze
Upvotes	2
Comments	9
Date	February 16, 2020 12:00 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/f4i5h3/why_is_getting_a_girl_on_to_a_date_from_dating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/why-is-getting-a-girl-on-to-a-date-from-dating.1490666 https://theredarchive.com/post/1490666

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