Are you seducing for sex or for love?

Redgiant54 · 2020-03-24T19:20:36+00:00

I have done this. For me personally its a commitment issue. Not feeling like im good enough for a relationship makes me crave the validation that I am good enough. Ive gotten pretty good at attracting girls over time and jump out every time they express interest in locking me down. Ive let some really good ones go to waste because of this. Maybe i'm just scared of being in a relationship? I will fight tooth and nail to break this patern for the right one. Im trying to love myself more and more overtime but it feels really nice when someone else does it.

2020-03-25T04:22:59+00:00

I’ve done this somewhat frequently. I think it comes down to thinking I possibly want them then once I have it I lose interest. Also I probably lead them on when I drink and say too much.

2020-03-25T00:31:07+00:00

[permanently deleted]

thenardwrangler · 2020-03-25T05:18:35+00:00

Interesting. I don't have an answer but a couple questions that could provide insight:

You say you were "sugar dating" which I take to mean these are wealthier men? If too personal I understand, but I'm just curious to know how their money is untilized in the relationship? I'm asking because it sounds like this is a mutually-agreed upon aspect of the relationship, known from the beginning. I agree with the train of thought you started: they want to know that they mean more to you than just their money. It is validation for them. Even if that is agreed upon and understood contingency for the relationship, they haven't disclosed the emotional cost required of you.

My mind also takes a darker twist, wondering if it's more malevolent than that. They want to make you fall hard so they can drop you hard. Any indicators of misogyny?

Edit: to add one more thought to this, I wonder if this is a pattern more prevalent in wealthy men, or maybe just the sugar-scene? I would think a poor man would be less inclined to do this, and the sex would be enough, he is more assured that you at least like him.

2020-03-25T07:31:05+00:00

[permanently deleted]

drdavidbanner20 · 2020-03-24T19:56:08+00:00

Sex first, love second. I'm primarily in it for the sex. I don't care if a woman has feels/loves me unless I feel the same way, and then I care.

Are any of you guys serial heartbreakers?

Sure, but not because I didn't care or love her. It's because we wanted two different types of relationships. I wanted a sexually open relationship (I'm cool with emotional monogamy) whereas she wanted a typical monogamous relationship. When we realized that neither of us were willing to compromise on the relationship structure, we knew we'd have to split. It was amicable, but it still hurt like a motherfucker. It's happened multiple times.

If so, are you conscious of it and what is your motivation?

Retaining my sexual freedom. I have no desire to give a woman total control over my sex drive.

2020-03-24T22:36:48+00:00

I seduced because for me, it was a pure artform. When I did it right, I would get scratches all over my back and I felt like a god. For me, it was the thrill of the hunt. The next morning, I couldn't get her home fast enough.

Now that said, if I felt a woman was girlfriend material, I would give that a shot and some ONS led to relationships. Most ONS did not.

But initially, it was about finding a woman sexually attractive and getting her into my bedroom.

Aeon199 · 2020-03-25T05:47:26+00:00

Do you ever not do sugar-dating? What gives.

I was told women like guys who don't have money.

MCJOHN117SIERRA · 2020-03-24T19:04:51+00:00

My dreams aren't reality, leave me the fuck alone.

Title	Are you seducing for sex or for love?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	6
Comments	22
Date	March 24, 2020 6:48 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/foamu2/are_you_seducing_for_sex_or_for_love/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/are-you-seducing-for-sex-or-for-love.1492926 https://theredarchive.com/post/1492926

Comments