Foreword: I'd like to apologize to anyone who's read a story similar to this. I've read other threads on the subreddit of stories like mine, but I'd like some personal feedback on where I fucked up. The following is the best play-by-play I could come up with, and thanks to anyone who soldiers through it all.

Background: 23 y/o, InCel my entire life, and have dealt with rejection before, but not quite like this. I was waiting to start my job in June, and this all began in early May.

Story:

I met this girl on tinder. We messaged back and forth for a bit, and I asked her to meet up for coffee. We scheduled a date for the coming Tuesday. She worked that evening, and got off at 7pm, and I headed over around 8. It was about an hour away, which was fine for me because I haven't really had anything to do, and didn't mind the drive. When I got into town though, I got kind of lost so I called her to direct me to her apartment and we met up. When we met face to face, I was going to go in for a handshake, but she extended a hug instead. I felt like things were off to a well-enough start.

Date 1

We walked back to her apt, and began discussing where we would be going. I wasn't familiar with the area, so I asked her what around the area would be interesting, and we settled on driving around to see what was up. Because it was kind of late, we settled on the local B-Dubs. We went in, sat down, and ordered food and drinks. We began talking about bullshit that I don't remember, but I do remember her taking a moment to tell me how good I looked, that I "wasn't a douchebag," and asked me why I didn't have a girlfriend. I told her I was flattered and simply hadn't found a girl worth chasing.

She went on to talk about how she didn't like the guys in her town for whatever reason, and then it came about that she had been previously engaged. She told me about the loser she was engaged to, I told her she dodged a bullet, then she asked me when my last relationship was. I told her several years ago, and we didn't really talk much about relationships past that. One more note, she mentioned joining tinder to find a relationship and wasn't looking for a hookup.

After we finished, I paid for the meal, and I was wondering what next. She offered to go back to her place and watch netflix and I was all over it. This is where things get ugly. We did just that. We went back, talked and bullshitted around, and after a few hours, I was getting kind of bored. It was around 10 or so, and she seemed a bit distraught that I wanted to leave so early, so I stayed a little longer. After a bit longer, she asked when she could see me next. We settled on her day off next week.

The next day, she texted me telling how much fun she had, etc. and I think I said something like yeah me too. Then, because I was getting such a strong vibe from her, I asked her to meet me Thursday for lunch. She was all over it. So we met up again but this time I found her place easily, and then we went to a local pub that she had mentioned wanting to go to on the first date, but had been closed.

Date 2

Same story, we went in, ordered food, talked, and then she brought up religion. It was kind of a light topic, I took the easy road and said I was agnostic but she said she believed in a God. More of a note than anything; nothing really exciting. I took this time to try to set up a third date, and told her I wanted to go to the local state park for a hike on her day off the week after, and she obliged. After we finished eating, I jokingly asked her to pay just to get a rise out of her, but she didn't flinch and offered to pay for her meal. I paid anyways because I'm just that much of a beta.

I asked her about any nearby parks, and then we went for a bit of a walk. We went into the woods, and sat down in some mud. I got mud on my ass, and she took a photo to show me. I told her if she wanted to keep the photo she'd have to pay me, she asked how she would do that, and I said "depends on what you're willing to offer" and she gave me that look.

It was hot, so I said fuck it lets go back to your place and watch more on netflix. At this point I have to note these were the best dates I'd been on in entirely too long. So we go back, chat, and I knew that on the previous date that I should've kissed her at the least, and this time I sealed the deal. We made out for a bit, which was cool. However, she did mention that I was a loud kisser and was giggling a bit. I broke frame pretty hard though and started blabbing like "you're a good kisser... I need practice... I can't wait to see you again..."

After that, I felt insecure about myself and she kind of coddled me. She was still giving me that look though, and at one point, I forget what I said, but I went to do something, and she said "I thought you were going to do something else..." Some time passed though, and then she dropped this on me: "So does this make me your girlfriend?" I responded with something like "Well, you are a girl, and you are a friend, but I don't like labels." She asked me when she would know, and I told her we'd have to find out. We cuddled for a bit more, but she had to work that afternoon, so I left.

I knew I had fucked up, but I felt like I handled things well enough to keep going. I left my leftovers at her apt, and texted her negging saying she meant to take it, calling her a dork, etc. and she was pretty receptive. One instance I called her evil and she told me she was then quickly replied saying "no I'm an angel."

Aftermath

She had me hook line and sinker, and I thought I was still in control. The next Tuesday comes though, and she feeds me some BS and flakes. Red flags went up in my head, and I knew something was off, but I felt like she was so into me that she would just get back to me like she said she would. She never did though, and this is where things go south real fast. I text her a few times trying to keep in contact, but only got a few responses and they were never quite like the ones I was getting before. After a couple of weeks, I asked her to meet up again, and she told me she was seeing someone else. I thought I could accept this and move on, but I was sorely wrong.

I texted her a few days later asking what about me turned her off, and she told me some more BS about how I didn't answer my mom's phone call and bought her the wrong mothers day gift. I sent her a huge text justifying myself and told her if she could get over it to give me a call. She told me it was too late, and I responded again with "maybe one day the timing will be right." I'm still getting over a severe case of oneitis as I type this, but I think I can accept that it's over.

Which is why I'm here. I want to learn from this experience and see what others see in it that I don't.

My insight: The obvious one for me is the breaking frame after making out, especially the fact that I was talking about how bummed I was that I wouldn't see her until next week.

Another thing I noticed was that I totally fell for her compliments and probably should've tried to play them off like they were nothing.

I think my biggest mistake was going into the date wanting a hookup, but came out of the first date wanting an LTR. I know I probably could've fucked her either time, but the whole "no hookup" comment totally made me hesitate to try and escalate things that far.

I was obviously too available and too much a nice guy throughout the entire ordeal, but at the time I felt like I was being alpha. Yeah, I asked her where she thought we could go, and I broke frame and had to have her console me, but I felt like I was controlling the conversations, the whole date, and I initiated the kiss with no resistance. I didn't feel like I was putting her on a pedestal, but I think I subconsciously was. I don't feel like I made her work for my attention nearly enough, and gave up too much of my time too willingly.

Lastly, don't even get me started on how I reacted after she flaked on me. At that point I kind of abandoned TRP and went with my old habits only to have them return old results.

Again, thanks for those of you who can manage to stick through this train wreck. I know I need to find more women to chase, which I'm working on, but I just would like to see what others think about just how badly I fucked up. I felt like things were going well enough but it's obvious now that I blew it in more places than I realize.

TL;DR: immense write up on two dates and the aftermath. Seek advice on where I went wrong.