At the tail end of last year I had a 3 year relationship end which ultimately led me to TRP. I always had alot of Red Pill ideals so swallowing wasnt too hard (read some PUA stuff early in high school), but I still had the blue pill ideal that I could fix women once we got in a relationship and ignoring red flags (which might be the worst type of blue pill since I invested so much time in women)

This last relationship I think was pretty alpha in most aspects (to the point her feminist friends would get pissed about the dominant-submissive dynamic) but we broke up after I lost frame with jealousy (over her being friends with a lesbian she hooked up before we got together) and then went full on beta in the expressing feelings and insecurities trying to do re-con (worst thing, I know now) till pure self-preservation made my go full radio silence. Since we broke up, I've gone into to Monk Mode since the new year, started lifting, finished my degree, and decided to take some time to pursue my dream of becoming a musician (been doing vocal training and working with some top producers and doing shows here and there).

So I decided to go out to the club for my birthday with my bros this weekend for my birthday and of course my ex is there (apparently she's been hitting the clubs hard since we broke up). I fully ignore for the whole night, dance with other chicks, just have a good time with my bros, and then at the end of the night she comes over and absolutely jumps me. First she just hugs me and starts crying her eyes out about how "she loves me" and "she misses me" and how "I broke her heart completely" and how much my radio silence hurt. I honestly just take all this as shit testing and I just ignore all of it or pressure flip it. Clearly I pass and then she starts full on making out with me with me and grabbing my dick in the corner of the club. She asks me where I'm parked but before I could get her out of their her friends intercept and I just go back to my boys (the party was almost over at that point). She comes up to me at the end of the party again and we make out some more on her friend's car before she's taken away again and she says she'll text me tomorrow even though her friends say not to (she's drunk so I dont take shit she's saying at face value)

Now, I should probably take this as a W and walk away feeling like the man, but now I feel the oneitis creeping back in for some strange reason. I've been out with other girls, but honestly the connection isnt nearly the same. I really how much I've improved since starting TRP and I don't really want my ex back, but illogical oneitis thoughts keep popping back up (like, why hasnt she called to say happy birthday, was she just fucking with me at the club), and while I'm back to radio silence there's even a part of me that wants to message her. Please snap me out of this guys.