Telling a guy to "Just be confident" as dating advice is like telling a depressed person to "Just cheer up".

61,727 points•3,384 comments•submitted by [deleted] to r/unpopularopinion

If i could, "Just be confident" don't you think I would be already?! I hate being nervous around new people, but I can't just decide to not be. I already understand how important confidence is. I can't explain why I don't have any because I don't know.

A depressed person may want to cheer up, but they just can't will themselves happy. There is more to it.

This is how I feel about it. I know I can't be the only one.

Edit: this blew up/thanks for awards/yadda yadda

A lot of people are saying to "fake it until you make it". That advice also feels dumb. If I knew how to fake being confident, isn't that just be acting confident? Even if I do not feel confident acting like I do requires me to know what the fuck I am doing. It's like, when I try to talk to someone I just met I just lock up and can't think of anything to say. I make some meek greetings before withdrawing from the conversation into myself. I know this is an issue, but don't know how to get around it. If I just knew how to get past that hurdle than I wouldn't have an issue with confidence. I would just be able to talk to people.

"fake it until you make it" falls into the same pitfall. If I could, I already would!