How can I stop seeing sex as a duty I have because I'm a man?

2021-01-12T00:43:35+00:00

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VorpalPaperclip · 2021-01-11T22:37:25+00:00

Dude!!! I am just getting of a 15+ yr marriage and this exact thing just started happening to me. I’m attractive, tall and all there down under but the first chick I pull is so amazing to me and I can’t get things working without a lot of work on both our parts. She’s a fucking nympho and sent me on my way till I get myself sorted out. So, I am freaking out too, making it worse.

Relaxing and not giving a shit is our path, but getting there may take a sex therapist. Thinking about sex as something fun and getting physically connected through tantric practice is my plan. Somehow reading about breathing with a woman and looking into her eyes makes connecting sexually less scary. The tantric connection becomes the objective that lets you connect without sex being the purpose and sexual function will hopefully become a side effect through relaxing.

HimBalanceHer · 2021-01-11T22:51:03+00:00

My man used to have issues getting up with me partially because of meds but also because of the pressure. So, I get between his legs and play with him whenever I can. When we make out, I touch him.

But he gets the MOST excited when he touches me. So, though I want to be more dominant and be the one to turn him on, he usually turns himself on more by squeezing boobs, butts, and touching me between my legs. I mean, even when I blow him, I move off to the side so he can touch my butt and boobs. Some men are just like that.

Knute5 · 2021-01-11T23:02:06+00:00

I may be super old fashioned but maybe it's work when you're not in love with the woman you're having sex with.

I didn't have a problem getting started, but with a previous LTR that I just wasn't completely feeling, I had my first episode of "no more" while trying to satisfy her. Beautiful woman, decent chemistry, but I almost felt like she had an eating disorder and I was the food.

I stepped away from the dating pool for a bit and am committed to connecting to my next partner on a deeper level before I go there next time.

natronamus · 2021-01-11T23:05:41+00:00

It sounds like you said it right in your title. Stop seeing sex as a duty. If you are with someone don't tell yourself you have to have sex with them. If the moment feels right you shouldn't have any trouble going through with it, if it doesn't its a bit of power move to say goodnight anyways. She'll likely want it more after that if she's into you. If you're not that attracted to her than its probably best to not go through with it anyways.

Also viagra will fix that.

2021-01-11T22:37:21+00:00

Find a freaky wild girl! If she’s good, she’ll turn you out! Sounds like you’ve been with duds. Maybe girls aren’t freaky like they used too.

Mariposa_Flor · 2021-01-11T22:34:56+00:00

Are you maybe not straight?

Title	How can I stop seeing sex as a duty I have because I'm a man?
Author	Ok-War-9040
Upvotes	9
Comments	9
Date	January 11, 2021 10:18 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/kvdmif/how_can_i_stop_seeing_sex_as_a_duty_i_have/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-can-i-stop-seeing-sex-as-a-duty-i-have-because.1508407 https://theredarchive.com/post/1508407

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