I am trying to figure out how to proceed here. We just had a newborn and it has caused some seismic shifts in our relationship.

I am probably leaning more towards divorce because I don’t think the juice is worth the squeeze. The issues we had prior to the newborn have been magnified and I think we are deeply incompatible. I also suspect she has some underlying mental issues (NPD, BPD).

I think one of the issues is that she believes my parents are too involved in our relationship. Which is actually false. I have never discussed my relationship with my parents unless it’s something she has brought up to them. There are at least 5 instances where she has discussed our relationship with family and friends that I know of. I have done a lot of covering for her and the people who know me most didnt think I should have married her, but didn’t say anything because well I’m a grown adult.

If we go the divorce route it should be amicable I would hope but I want to give it one more shot because I am guilty of stonewalling and contempt (2 of the horsemen) and because I come from a very good family background. I don’t want a broken home for my baby girl. Her family has their issues and I think they are more supportive of her than us which is to be understood due to her telling everyone our business.

That being said my disdain for her has more to do with her conflict and drama seeking personality type, something that is a family trait from my observation. Years of disrespect of me (due to unenforced boundaries, my bad), lack of gratitude and honestly I feel like she brings very little to my life. I can’t honestly say one thing she makes better in my life, and that’s not a new revelation.

I got to the point where I wince every time she called or would rather have my parents with me for medical procedures because she always brought this uptight and anxiety inducing energy. I find life is easier without her around. Not to mention there has been behaviour by her family since the newborn that has made me indifferent towards them as a whole. Not what I planned at all. Am I wasting my time trying reconciliation or should I just wait a year or two and proceed with divorce?

My heart is really breaking for my little girl. Not what I wanted but the more I think about it there are very few if any qualities my wife has that I want my daughter to have.