How do I get a clear picture for entering Nun Mode?

Jenneapolis · 2024-05-31T23:45:34+00:00

First focus on your mental health and getting out of depression before any sort of advanced femininity skills. People going into nun mode often try to change everything at once and that generally fails for people who don’t already have solid healthy habits built. It perpetuates a cycle of people feeling like a failure because they literally put too much on their plate to achieve.

Start with small healthy goals to help you get out of depression. I highly recommend working with professionals on this. Make small goals you can actually accomplish and feel proud of yourself about. Once you have the basics down, then you can focus on the advanced skills.

Also, I recommend you get all of this in order before you consider leaving the country. I only moved states and I can tell you even though I’ve been doing it for 20 years, it’s very hard to be away from a support system and I honestly wouldn’t recommend it to people even though it worked out well for me. But you will need to be extremely independent to make something like this work which may require you to tap into more masculine skills anyhow.

Vermillion-Rx · 2024-05-31T22:56:07+00:00

I'm not terribly familiar with nun mode, so I won't step my lane on which goals and skills you should shoot for, but men generally care more about qualities in women and how women treat them over any accomplishments or professional goals women have.

If you have traits you could work on:

Men generally look respond to 5 F's dislike the 3 Don'ts:

5 F's

Feminine
Fit
Friendly
Frugal
Faithful

3 Don'ts

Don't be a bitch
Don't be promiscuous (or act slutty)
Don't get out of shape

What you might notice about all of these, is that most of them are absent behaviors. They primarily require abstaining from other negative behaviors. Femininity is about following (so abstaining from leading), fit (not getting overweight, not over eating) frugal (not spending)

Don't be a bitch (not saying combative stuff you otherwise might have said)

Most feminine appeal is largely NOT doing off-putting behaviors and reducing the amount of red flags you have. At least there are numerically more things to NOT do as a woman to be appealing than there are things you COULD DO that are appealing. I'm not saying don't learn appealing skills, but rather there are a lopsided amount of things to avoid doing compared to positive actions you could do (but you should still learn them).

Most women might find this upsetting to hear and think "but i worked so hard on xyz". Men are less impressed by your accomplishments and goals than your behaviors and how you make them feel.

.

I do want to say if there are goals to work on, probably getting in shape (depression is usually related to under or over weight, i don't want to make assumptions though).

Learn feminine skills like cooking

Like I said, I need to read up on nun mode, so I'm sure others will have more actionable advice what to actionably work on.

Those above traits and concepts I mentioned are generally Fail-Safe so far as traits and qualities themselves are concerned. Obviously you need more than just traits and qualities to have a meaningful relationship though.

youllknowwhenitstime · 2024-06-01T05:18:09+00:00

I'm going to preface this by saying I know how absurdly obnoxious it is to get told "You're young, you might change your mind!"

I don't think I actually changed my mind on anything I was told, "You're young, you might change your mind" about.

So here's the variant: Everyone, regardless of their age, may change their mind. To change your mind is part of the human condition.

I was absolutely convinced at 20 that I was going to make a certain life decision that would have impacted who I could marry exactly as severely as moving out of country would make an impact. I was absolutely certain for the next four years....

...and then I met my now-husband.

If you meet a dream guy who checks EVERY single box you can think of, and then you realizehe checks really cool and exciting boxes you hadn't even thought of, would you be willing to stay in your current country for him?

The answer to that question makes an enormous difference with how you should proceed here.

hawkeye2nd · 2024-06-03T18:49:07+00:00

I love that there's a name for this now!

Currently in my own nun mode - but post-'going through hell and back' as one poster noted. So there's also some deep healing going on.

Number one thing that made me feel comfortable enough to explore nun mode - was being 100% self-reliant. Sovereign in my choices. And that, for me, meant financially stable - and alone - even if it meant working at Starbucks, not pursing a 'career', and renting something small. As long as I had my own roof and bed, and food on the table.

As someone else mentioned - get out of depression first. That way you can figure out habits you genuinely want, instead of using them as band-aids because they feel good right now.

Instead of focusing on being feminine - I focused on becoming healthy. What habits do I need to feel good in my head, body, and heart. If I feel good in my body - if I'm not carrying extra weight and feel more fatigue - then I can be more comfortable in all situations. Then I don't need to "protect" my body by being a tomboy.

So working from that goal - to feel good - to feel secure in my body - I figure out what I need to do. Diet, movement, etc.

And the things I want to do, instead of being told what to do to be healthy as a women - turns out to be what, for example, French women recommend with their diet - but instead of it coming from an external place, it's a choice I made first. Like eating smaller portions, but choosing buckwheat instead of oatmeal. A side effect is that by choosing to be healthy, my figure improves, I feel stronger, and more secure, and don't have to be "masculine" in my behaviour... if this makes sense.

And along the way - I'm picking up "feminine" skills - cooking, baking (OMG I Love baking) and finding that I really do love doing what's considered traditional for women, that I feel more at ease, than pursing a career and working 16 hour days fighting with men. I also love herbology and growing plants and nurturing them - but I never approached it from a place of being a woman first. Just what felt right.

Personal body care came from age, really - never had good habits, coming from a working class family - and only when I hit 30 did I feel like maybe I should've listened to at least making sure my hair and nails were healthy, like using coconut oil and rosemary, learning how to do my own manicure.

Posture and pose came from feeling, again, uncomfortable in my body -so instead of fixing my posture to not slouch - I fixed my core muscles so naturally I feel better sitting straight.

Maybe my journey isn't for you - but the point I'm trying to make - is try caring about yourself first, rather than focusing on the external manifestations of what is known as feminine. Then the habits and skills will stack one on top of another.

Femininity comes from inside out - and only comes from feeling secure. So figure out what makes you feel insecure and adjust, the rest will come. And then - do what makes you feel good irrespective of who's watching and who you want to attract.

Then - the right person will come around at the right time, and you'll already be well-grounded in habits that you choose - not what some blogger or author told you you should do.

Also - journaling helps - just writing everything you don't want your life to look like - first. Then you'll start to see what you do want - from a relationship, from family, from location. Write out your opinions on situations you see in real life and from media - you don't like how that guy spoke to the woman, or you didn't like how she did this one thing - and then how you would've handled it differently, in a way that feels comfortable and most aligned for you, again, not based on cliches or how you think you should act based on society's standards.

Oh, and finally - I stopped watching all media and listening to music - it just didn't seem as interesting as real life. And most music just messed with my emotions so much that I didn't feel myself. Classical/instrumental music is nice - but once in a while. It's how people used to live anyways - entertainment was an intentional outing/treat - not a constant way of life. A lot of opinions of all sorts float around in media. If you want to do nun mode - cut out media for at least 2 years to figure yourself out without the noise.

AutoModerator · 2024-05-31T20:20:54+00:00

Title: How do I get a clear picture for entering Nun Mode?

Author simonews29

Full text: I 20f came across this page not too long after turning 20. I resonated a lot with what I've learned so far. For years I've wanted to learn and embrace my femininity as I grew up as a tomboy and have kept myself in this state since I don't like how I look or feel. I've wanted to to change who I am for years but never did so I blamed it on the lack of discipline and depression. I have an idea of who I want be but don't have any specific direction. I know I want to have poise, be knowledgeable, in shape, learn to cook, etc. I often feel overwhelmed and stressed about becoming a women. I like to think that I'm a mix of traditional and modern, as I am also not religious. I feel as though I've had to live in my masculine side since I was little and still feel like I'm in it. I guess in a way the compounding effect of living in my masculine energy has made me confused and lost in being comfortable and wanting to be a women.
I don't have any routines or healthy habits built as I have felt stuck in a transition of getting out of a depression and wanting to change. Being in this chaos of my mind the past year has given answers to some of my biggest questions of children and marriage. I had a lot of resistance from accepting what it is I want in life and I just came to terms that I do want children.
Because there is so much I want to change and learn I'm not sure what or how to plan nun mode. I'm currently going to college and should finish by 23 and know that I'd like to get married by 25 and have kids before 30. Also with wanting to relocate outside of the US that also adds to my confusion of how I would meet someone and if I should transfer to a college out of the country. Relocating to out the US would be permanent but I will have to come back to the US regularly because of family. With what I know so far from what I want for my life and an idea of who I want to be how do I plan and understand being in Nun Mode?

^{This is the original text of the post and this is an automated service}

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

AutoModerator · 2024-05-31T20:20:55+00:00

Thank you for posting to RPW. Here are a couple reminders:

If you are seeking relationship advice. Make sure you are answering the guidelines for asking for advice on the rules page
Do not delete your post once you have your answers. Others may have the same question!
You must participate in your own post. If you put up a post and disappear, it will be removed.
We are not here for non-participants to study us. If you are writing a paper or just curious, read our sidebar and wiki and old posts.
Men are not allowed to ask questions and generally discouraged from participating unless they are older, partnered and have Red Pill experience.
Within the last year, RedPillWomen has had over half a dozen 'Banned from 'x' subreddit' post for commenting/subscribing to RPW. Moving forwards, the mods will remove these types of posts: 1, 2, 3, 4. We recommend you make a RPW specific account.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Tara_Rizer · 2024-06-02T20:57:06+00:00

One thing at a time. Baby steps. Keep what works discard or put off for now what doesn't.

Vermillion-Rx · 2024-06-01T02:58:25+00:00

Since I'm a guy having to read up on nun mode as is:

From RPW

Nun mode part I: an introduction

Nun mode part III

Nun mode field reports

@mods, I actually could not locate "nun mode" in the wiki or in the glossary (though i could have missed it)

Title	How do I get a clear picture for entering Nun Mode?
Author	simonews29
Upvotes	10
Comments	12
Date	May 31, 2024 8:20 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1d556b9/how_do_i_get_a_clear_picture_for_entering_nun_mode/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-do-i-get-a-clear-picture-for-entering-nun-mode.1520176 https://theredarchive.com/post/1520176

Comments