I love everything about my boyfriend except this one part, that he’s really messy.

It doesn’t sound like such a big deal, but we live together in a small apartment, and over time it can get a toll on me, especially me being a very cleanly and organized person. Out of instinct I end up doing double the house work just to have a clean space. I don’t usually complain about cleaning and stuff because that’s what I would be doing regardless as I find cleaning relaxing, but I don’t like being the one cleaning after someone.

If I am having a rough week and barely have the energy to do housework the house turns into a disaster. You can clearly see what keeps this place looking normal.

My boyfriend is a great cook and does most of the cooking which is helpful, but the kitchen looks like a crime scene afterwards with dishes piled up. Then in return I do the dishes and clean the dinner table as a thank you. But when I do the cooking I do it all by myself, idk I’d appreciate at least some help with the dishes or cleaning the dinner table.

I even do all the laundry by myself. He’s never done the laundry, and even when he lived at home his sister would do it for him. This one might be my biggest issue as I feel like it’s the bare minimum a person should be able to do for themselves as an adult. It’s embarrassing that your sister did the laundry for you, because why? I would never accept this. I struggle to understand this. How can someone be so comfortable with someone else doing everything for you?

How can I communicate this even though I’ve tried numerous times to tell him. I just feel taken for granted when he doesn’t acknowledge what I do.

He tells me to just ask him for help if I need any, which I do but I feel so incredibly guilty for having to ask him when its not that hard to do myself, I think maybe I just want that love returned by him making chores a bit easier. Doesn’t have to be much. Just a small initiation without me having to demand him to do it if that makes sense.

I am currently unemployed and looking for work, so for me I will gladly help around the house when he’s off to work. No problem for me. He works 3 times a week due to health reasons, with 3 weeks off. But even on his days off he doesn’t really seem to put in any effort. Idk maybe I am selfish. I do understand that he needs to relax during his time off work.

It makes me really question whether this is someone I want to start a family with in the future. He’s perfect on everything else, I hate this being such a big problem. I could never imagine myself being with someone else just because they happened to be better at cleaning. I want him. his personality, his creativity, his playfullness and enthusiasm. I love spending time with him and talking with him. Idk I just want this to work out and I genuinely believe he makes my life better on every other aspect.

Am I asking too much or being irrational?