Hey all,

I've been posting/lurking for a while on TRP. Known about it for two months and everything made so much sense. It seemed like a perfect guidebook to female behaviour/psyche and I thought I had it figured out. I read all the sidebar material and even went deeper into stoicism and other TRP theory. It was the truth longing to be found. Despite knowing basic TRP principles most of my life, my downfall comes through my idealistic thought process. I was always infatuated with the perfect relationship, the perfect this, the perfect that.. but I feel like TRP became an ideal for me. (Hope that makes sense) I was obsessed with the idea of TRP, but this was all in my head.

I am familiar with the 5 stages of grief and I realized after finding TRP I did not feel angry at all, I simply agreed to everything. Ironically, now it's gradually kicking in.. I am full of disdain for women now. I feel depressed, angry, upset: a mixture of negative emotions have been constantly stirring in my head lately. Why is it that AWALT. Women say this is a generalization, but they all act the same way. I feel an emptiness. This is the most fucking bitter thing I have come to understand in my life and its so dark. I didn't even swallow the pill. I just put it in my mouth and thought i had it figured out.

I feel so comfortable in this matrix. I don't know where to go from here. Monk Mode is an extremely depressing thought. I want to enjoy the fruits of this synthetic society. I want to be a person with morals, values, who shows loves to others. Spinning plates seems so demoralizing, but its the truth. Hypergamy, the dark triad, all this shit is just so depressing. Why can't people be simple? Fuck, I just wanted to get this out. I'm aware I'm still BP despite all my posts before.

If anyone has experience with this stage of intense emotional turmoil and distrust please tell me what you did to swallow the pill and unplug. I don't want to, but I know I need to.

Cheers, BT

Edit: Thank you to everyone who is replying and offering me their insight. I want to reply to each of you individually, but I feel like there no specific response I can give besides showing my appreciation. I know TRP is very real and once it has been seen it cannot go unseen. I realize I'm in the depression phase and my whole life has been built around ideals that are now collapsing. I have seen women through a veil, but now I must come to appreciate the bitterness of this reality. Time will tell.