I've only ever been in a single relationship. A woman 12 years older. I was 18 when we first met, and we stayed together for about 6 years. What I've endured in that relationship wrecked me inside. I have experienced things that are at least close to rape, but I stopped talking about them as soon as my own mother answered something in the lines of "don't talk like that, it wasn't rape". She was supportive about other things, but everyone in my family always attempted to find ways to downplay what happened when I told them certain things. One sister in particular always tells me to stop talking about it, that I'm hurting myself if I keep thinking of it since it ended 4 years ago, etc, and it's quite ironic since she escaped a toxic relationship herself, and she kept expressing distress about it over the years.

In the past, I've written about my experiences on now deleted accounts, and I noticed that people would always try to find a way to blame me for anything I'd write. I stopped speaking about certain things, even my family. As a matter of fact, I don't speak about my hurts anymore, because I'm better off not doing it.

Will I get some flack if I say that I spoke about my relationship as if I was a woman, in the past, and that I never got one of those reactions? Because that's precisely what happened. It's hard not to get bitter when you see and touch the double standards first-hand. I spent a whole year not letting it get through my head, and I'm proud to say I was successful.

Either way, yesterday I wrote a crass humoristic post about me "not being able to pull out" when we had sex. She had random bouts of paranoia mid-sex sometimes, so she asked literally when I was about to climax in those moments. Nothing agreed upon beforehand. And either way, she was on birth control, and I always wore condom. She knew perfectly well the request was bonkers (when she was actually sane of mind), also because she knew that pulling out just doesn't work.

Well, I should have predicted the shitstorm that came after that, with people accusing me of being a red flag, borderline rapey, and whatnot, with some who started to chase me around Reddit after that (I reported them to Reddit, I guess those interactions aren't visible now). It's kinda hard not to think that people went straight there for the simple fact that I am a man, but either way, that opened up some wounds, so I fought my way through the post with the various people judging a situation they knew nothing about. Well, at one point I "trauma-dumped" on a poster, knowing that I would still be blamed anyway. Dude replied to me with a "now I pity her even more". Then, he deleted his comments, but I still saw it.

I believe this is more or less what happens with most men when they try to speak up about their toxic relationship with a woman. But I would like to hear some "success stories" of people who were taken seriously.