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I (F21) would like to open the floor to discussion/opinion of redpillers on my personal relationship(s).

[deleted]

May 12, 2014
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/r/TheRedPill
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Post Information
Title I (F21) would like to open the floor to discussion/opinion of redpillers on my personal relationship(s).
Author

[deleted]
Upvotes 0
Comments 16
Date May 12, 2014 12:09 AM UTC
(12 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/25bh8h/i_f21_would_like_to_open_the_floor_to/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/i-f21-would-like-to-open-the-floor-to.15296
https://theredarchive.com/post/15296
Red Pill terms in post
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Comments

[–]1needathrowawayplease 3 points4 points5 points 12 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

First boyfriend was an asshole. TRP doesn't support assholes. TRP supports and advocates for men to 1) avoid being a doormat, 2) don't be needy, 3) have confidence, 4) be a high value enough man that you can deserve the high value woman you desire, 5) understand that women are as shallow as men, just in slightly different ways and its therefore intelligent to be the best you can be by their standards, etc.

TRP doesn't suggest it's necessary to be an asshole, be ungrateful towards your SO, to get your way in bed but not worry about your SO's enjoyment, vocalizing his needs as being greater than your own, etc. In other words, all of those negative things about your first boyfriend aren't advocated for or suggested here. If you can link me to anything suggesting a TRP guy should be that way, do so. But I get the sense that you ascribe a whole set of characteristics to TRP that we don't intend to be apart of it.

Your first guy may have had some alpha characteristics, but they were joined by some characteristics that would be considered a negative in any man or woman: selfishness, ungratefulness, violence. In addition, he didn't have the same values as you and was raised differently than you which shows fundamental incompatibility - but which have nothing to do with redpill/bluepill stuff.

My guess is that if your current boyfriend was a little more 'badboy' but still not an asshole you'd be more attracted to him.

It's also quite possible you've left out parts of what make you feel the first guy is redpill / parts of what makes you feel the second guy is bluepill, but from what you wrote I don't see a lot of it being directly applicable to what is discussed here.

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points1 points 12 years ago | Copy Link

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[–]vzhu 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Physical attractiveness and material wealth are merely a method to display 'alphaness', ergo social status. They are tools to increase ones social value that also happen to have some perks as well.

Being stoic does not mean belittling the feelings of others. You need to do some research. In addition to this, being emotionally unavailable is not the same as being emotionally abusive.

Dark triad traits are only useful for short term and ultimately one sided relationships. Not recommended outside of flings. This leads onto my other point: TRP is descriptive, not prescriptive.

The main purpose of the sub is to analyze and understand the dynamics of sexual attraction across the board and to provide advice/tools for personal success in the sexual marketplace. TRP isn't about telling you what is ideal or what is right so I find your understanding of the relationship between 'alpha' behavior and dark triad traits to be somewhat misunderstood. Dark triad traits are not necessary to be or act 'alpha' but adopting dark triad traits can make you appear 'alpha' to the intended audience.

[–]2johnnight 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Sorry for the cancer.

A better analytical dichotomy is excitement vs safety. Guy #1 was exciting, guy #2 gives emotional safety. Since you have cancer, this stability is what you desire right now.

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points1 points 12 years ago | Copy Link

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[–]Endorsed ContributorDenswend 4 points5 points6 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

It is always nice to hear input from the other side of the spectrum, especially if it isn't feminazi rant about how TRP is the love child of Satan and Hitler. It takes a high amount of will to try and think like the opposite gender, but it's not without benefits. I would say "to think like the enemy" but women aren't enemies, any society in which women treat men like the enemies and vice versa is a decaying one, just waiting for the final nail in the coffin. It is imperative that we understand this - you hate the system which makes possible for great injustices to happen, you hate the ones who do great injustices and get away with it, but you do not hate those who have so far done nothing wrong simply because they were born with an X chromosome more. Men here might not like this intrusion on their personal space, but be patient - those were the very same men that society has indoctrinated into suppressing their inner selves in a manner which would make them most unhappy. Now they're slowly waking up from this collective lie and they're quite bitter. Some might even translate their inferiority complex to an all out misogyny (the word misogyny lost its punch by being overused, this I admit), but if TRP theory is correctly followed, even this will vanish.

Let's put it this way. Let's define an "Alpha" who has all the Dark Triad characteristics. Usually, Dark Triad characteristics are attractive to women (note : outliers do exists, but outliers are not the norm) for a variety of different reasons which I may or may not gauge correctly, but are ultimately irrelevant. The fact remains that the Alpha characteristics (TRP game section, etc) are attractive to women and that they give them the tingles (reductionalistically explained as chemistry, philosophically hand waved as love). Women, like men, are interested in sex only because of procreation, and given the vast risk they take (9 month pregnancy in which all manner of fucked up things happen to your body), they would seek to have the best possible genes in their womb. This is completely natural, and despite something not being good simply because it's natural (naturalistic fallacy), I've yet to find bad things of women's innate hypergamy concerning the human species as a whole. The role of culture is to dictate what's the best possible characteristic - this makes cultures of learning (Ashkenazi, East Asian) technologically and culturally superior to cultures of honor (for example Somalia) and it's a great tool for harnessing the innate power of human evolution.

Now let's define a "Beta" - he has the characteristics of provision and nurture. Those are certainly characteristics attractive to a monogamous female. It is also safe to say that monogamous woman exists in the same manner as monogamous man - not naturally. Three things can make a woman monogamous - societal pressure (culture's impact), diminishing assets of attraction (she can't chose if men are not willing to be chosen by her), and love (philosophical translation of hypergamy which is "I found the best"). It does not matter which of the three is used (I'd argue that number two is linked to aging, which is more risky for offspring) but the norm stays the same. This is where the AF/BB paradigm comes in play. Women want to be impregnated by the best, and get the provision from the providers, and they will follow this with a unique, almost psychopathic zeal. Let us not kid ourselves as our fellow MRAs, some characteristics aren't attractive to non-monogamous women, and those characteristics are usually tied to the nurturing aspects of male character.

This naturally creates a problem for her. Alpha and Beta are two separate men, any tension between them might endanger whatever the second is providing for her - whether genes or provision. She does not feel safe with just Alpha as those are the very characteristics that make him attractive to her. She does not feel complete with just Beta because she still has to fulfill this biological imperative. You can't drive out nature with a pitchfork.

Now what if, Alpha and Beta were somehow the same person? He will give you the tingles, the chemistry, the feeling of rush and thrill, he will make you want him by the day, but at the night, you will feel safe with him and always consider him a stone foundation in which you can always rest. Is such a man even possible? Is he a male unicorn? He is, and he's the Traditional man.

When I say Traditional, I don't neccessarily mean religious or even Beta Majoris. Traditional simply because whatever dark ages we are currently going through, we are not first people or even the first society to shift through it. The best thing about Tradition is that it works. It keeps the society stable and running. Traditional man is kind of a synthesis of Alpha and Beta, optimal mixture of both who changes from Alpha to Beta as the situation demands. Villification of Beta characteristics (namely, provision and nurture) I find utmost idiotic. It is only their extreme overuse with hidden agenda that I find deplorable. Ditto for Alpha characteristics. There is only context of the situation, and adaptation is the key to survival.

The main reason why Traditional man is an unicorn is because feminization of men tilted the balance in favour of Beta, which made the Alphas even more noticeable to women. The constant attack on not just the Traditional man, but Tradition itself is also a major factor. Also, a lot of RP men are afraid to take the mantle of the Traditional men, partly due to being hurt by their Beta days, partly due to massive risk of today's commitment (marriage) for men. You'll see them a lot less.

But I remain confident that someone will pick up what's happening and fix the system to make possible the return of Traditional men. Otherwise, you're all doomed.

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points1 points 12 years ago | Copy Link

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[–]Endorsed ContributorDenswend 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I understand what we are programmed to do biologically, and it saddens me. However, I also feel the need to challenge this, as a higher species with conscious thought. You seem to agree.

I fail to see why would biological urges sadden you. I have this pet theory of mine that the manifestation of our self is a limited autonomous being created by our genes and molded by our memes which is then used to propagate them. Essentially, our living bodies and our personality/character/ego are simple vehicles for genes. Why exactly would this be a bad thing? Does a hammer hate the person who wields it?

Challenging our biological urges is actually quite difficult. Try to commit a suicide, and suddenly, all manner of hormones will flush all around you trying to make you giggly and shit - your genes don't allow you that. Your own biological urges make up everything about, from your looks to personality, and any changes within you are simply differing manifestations of preprogrammed instructions in your genes. To borrow Hesse, the potential is always within you, sometimes it needs to be awakened. The very person you love, you live him because all the emotional support and sexual experience he gives you - all biological urges. Do you want to deny those?

Just to play devil's advocate, I have to explain why I don't fit this mold which makes me question these theories. Additionally, I know many like-minded women, so I know that I'm not a rare case.

To be quite frank, I didn't have much chance to apply TRP theory or even had instances of being discriminated against by overzealous feminists. But then you need to take the culture in consideration and it all becomes crystal clear - this is a sub predominately populated by Anglos, and they were hit the hardest with subversions of tradition. Me being Slavic impacts this.

Outliers are statistical neccessity for any average to exist. Considering the large amount of sample, it's then also expected to be a large amount of outliers. One of many TRP approximations is to take biological urges with statistical female behaviour in order to make a judgment. This approximation might seem rough, but as I stated, by increasing the personal freedom (or decreasing the societal checks), people will act more in accordance with their desires - genes are a force to be reckoned with. This is why in Iran, 70% engineers are female, while in Norway, only 10% are. Norway is more economically secure (no threat of starvation) and has a greater amount of personal liberty. You should check out this video if you have any doubts. Thus the TRP approximation is roughly correct - as feminism removed/tries to remove societal checks on women.

But before you consider yourself an outlier, be honest, are you really an outlier?

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points0 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

w/r/t cancer, google the Gerson Diet. May or may not work, but it can't hurt.

[–]ultima9999x 0 points0 points0 points 12 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Still in the honeymoon period. You'll be back for the alpha d sooner or later.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

It seems we have found a women that had a change of heart. Our theory still holds though. The alpha dick won you over at first. You just realized you didn't want that type of guy. You are rare.

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points1 points 12 years ago | Copy Link

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[–]Endorsed Contributornyrp 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree with other commenters that him being insecure starting these fights with you, and above all being dependent on his parents, suggests this was not any kind of alpha.

[–]newbie3hunna -1 points0 points1 point 12 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

If you don't agree with this sub, why would you want our advice? Also you obviously did not search enough to realize this is not the proper place to post red pill questions. Based on this I am just going to tell you to go away.

[–][deleted] 0 points0 points0 points 12 years ago | Copy Link

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[–]newbie3hunna 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Nit picking over language while getting down voted because you can not make a cohesive thread, let alone post it in the right area. You seem like someone I should waste my time reading about..

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