I want to be with my ex wife more than I want to live. She was my own Angel, I couldn’t believe how lucky I was everyday she was mine. I just miss her so much. When I close my eyes all I see is her in this headband she had and her pjs sitting in my couch. All I could think was “I can’t believe I got this lucky. I don’t deserve this”. Or seeing her smile on a walk on the beach with the sunset behind her. I’m drunk and posting this and I’m sorry. I gave her the reason to go. And she packed up and went. I just hate everyday without her. I’m 27, do very well, in shape, have hot girls everywhere. And all I want is her. I’d give anything to hold her just one more time. She consumes my mind. All day. All night. I love her more than I’ve ever loved or felt for anything in my life. And knowing someone else is going to have her now. Deaths a welcome friend. No I’m not su1c1dal. But if I passed right now. I think I’d be thrilled, much better than feeling this Soul crushing pain.