I had the talk in early may, it was late at night in a cold dark room. Im 51, shes 47 and have 2 kids 9 & 12. She said she wants a emotional connection and doesnt want the kids to grow up around a loveless relationship. I knew we had grown apart, 3-4 years since last previous intimacy. During said talk, she asked if i could move into the camper to the closest campground until we figure this out, by the weekend. Also stbxw stated that she didnt care about my recent inheritance and thought about telling me to take it and go as she didnt care about the money. Needless to say i was devastated! Last year in sept i closed out my parents estate and received a nice low 6 figure inheritance. I asked wife if i paid the house off if she would try to kick me out and she laughed and said “we’ll see”, but i thought she was kidding. About 3 months after without asking me, she transfered money out of my joint acct into her joint acct to pay her car note off and transfered 10k to pay cc off. When asked where 10k went her reply was “bills”. Following this time period i began to be cut out from family fb pics and functions. I dont know at what point her 10k wedding band came off but she began coming home hours late from work and opted out of life360 phone tracking.
Wife makes significantly more than me. After mich friend of court zoom meeting, foc recommends 50/50 and i would get kids for extended every weekend. Also i believe she has to carry kids health ins and 140$ a mo to me per calculations. Also worth noting is she objected to a schedule that she asked for. I did secure a experience female family law attorney from a locale reputable firm and has so far been both legal adviser and coach. We have mediation coming up in 3 weeks. We have est 800k worth of assets. She makes est 80k per and i suspect she has been squirreling money away but cannot confirm. I can see bank statement but not credit card line items, in addition we have not received her financial affidavit. Since the talk ive mov ed into the basement and havnt even considered leaving the house - the post and stories in here have been a great help! I picked up a car hobby and have had great support from my friends even tho they are sick of hearing about my quagmire. It really is unbelievable how just one day that you’re trash and you gotta go. Ive been watching alot of rich cooper and just learning as much to gain understanding. We havnt told the kids yet, as i figure she will say “ we both decided blah blah blah”. Like no hunny, you decided. But anyways, i dont know if a custody agreement and asset agreement is all i need prior to moving out or what. Ive really just been trying to manage 1 day at a time. I dont know if i will get to recoup any of my inheritance, or if i will get any spousal support. And i suspect that i may be betting a way better deal than others, but it doesnt always feel like it. Even at 50/50 split of assets, child support & alimony i feel like it i should have more empathy for her or something. Its funny that my wife feels that she put this altogether and deserves all the credit too, as she “pays all the bills” and if a man said that he would get canceled. Im sure im leaving alot of details out, like a small amount of parent alienation - smearing to neighbors and wives in the community. I guess it really is all fair in love & war. Thanks reddit fam ✌️