I have been on this subreddit and read some of these posts and I feel that I just want to get some stuff off my chest.

I have been married for 20 years and we have 2 kids (8 and 13). My wife is not from the country that I live in but came here (properly) after we married. Since then, there is not a month that goes by without her saying she hates it here and wants to return home.

She has anger issues and will constantly berate me or the children for fairly insignificant things. Put it this way, the problems do not justify her level of anger and shouting.

After the death of my parent, I fell into depression. I knew it, I could feel it, but I never got help. lost a lot of weight and I even got fired from my job because of it.

My wife did not even know or see the issues that I had at that time.

Recently. her last remaining parent also passed away and I travelled over to her country to support her and we returned home together. We were near the end of the process to move house, but she decided that she didn't want to move anymore. I understood why, so I reluctantly agreed. What's the point of buying a house together if the other person does not want to live there? I told her that if we pull out then I will not want to look for a new home in the next few years. But after we got back she starts looking at flats so that our son can go to a better school. I was not interested in buying anything anymore.

Since our return I have been feeling so empty and low and her anger and shouting have become more frequent. Even yesterday, after spending a few days away from home with the kids, she returned and became angry about the shoes spread out over our house entrance (they are always like this) and the fact that I did not buy any food for the house despite me telling her that I would do this before she came home (she came back a day early) and that now she has bought things that we already had.

She always complains about my income and that she is the main breadwinner. I lost my fairly good paying job before (see above) and became self employed and worked from home so that I could deal with all the kids stuff (school runs, lunches etc) and my own stuff.

She has always mentioned divorce during her monthly rants that she has about returning home and she has mentioned it a couple of times since we came back, but whilst before I would not even consider it, now I am at the point where I am considering it (hence reading these posts).

I worry for my children and what would happen to them if we divorced. She wants to take the older one and leave me with the younger one. I do not like that idea as I would prefer the kids to grow up together rather than in separate countries.

I am not worried about money. I started with nothing and I can start again.

I used to have a motto - always look forward, never look back, but now I wonder what it is that I did wrong to deserve this. All I ever wanted to be was happy, but all I feel now is pain. I live in fear that anything I say will be blown up to an argument level so I try to say as little as I can to her nowadays.

I don't know if I will ever pluck up the courage to divorce, or whether things will improve. But as I have no one else to talk to about this I thought that I would just get this off my chest.