I am 33m, married to 30f. I come from a poor family and had to take responsibility of my mom and dad since I was 18 because my father lost his job and had Parkinson and Epilepsy. My wife comes from a rich family and always had everything she needed.

I dated her for 5 years before marriage. First 2 years we were in same town and we would go out whenever we met. Then she moved to her hometown during COVID and we would talk over call. I would have to call her multiple times to get her attention and she would not respond my calls and would talk not have any topics to talk about even when we talked once a week or so. I moved to a different country for work, I also made a lot of money and was in much better professional space by now.

I have always been a calm person and she had been short tempered. Things got really worse from the day of marriage this year. Me, my family and extended family got late to one of the events before marriage as our train got delayed by 26 hours from some technical issue. She got upset that I let her down on her day and she would not talk to me till marriage night. She also asked her father to cancel the marriage on the day of marriage but due to pressure she could not. I also asked her father to not pressurize her for anything as none of us would be happy. She behaved really bad with my family and did not talk to them as well.

After 2 months of marriage, she stopped going out with me for walks, and would love to spend most time in kitchen cooking. I asked her to help but she would not like the way I would keep things in kitchen. I bought a new SUV car so we could do trips and we did not but she thought it would too expensive to do trips. She also fought with me twice and did not talk and eat anything for 5 days. She said she does some thing at home before marriage if she was angry and her mom would not eat which would force her to eat. I tried to feed her with my own hands and she would still not eat in anger. At this point, I lost connection with her with no regard to what I want and what keeps me happy. I asked her to go to couples therapy and counselling and she immediately rejected.

I lost urge to have sex with her now, and asked her to not be angry for sometime and talked to her about it. She tried for a month and fought again for another 5 days. On her Birthday, I surprised her with a birthday card I created, and a necklace and a cake with the candles she wanted. Next morning she got up and was talking to her family and she got mad that I did not make her breakfast and made her feel special since its her day. I had to cancel my evening reservation as she did not go and then did not talk to me for another 15 days.

In these fights, she verbally abused me too and would shout at me with disrespect. I came to a point where I started arguing back and now she thinks I am not the same person anymore. Just 15 days before my birthday, she fought with me again and I said out of anger "It was a bog mistake marrying you" and she got physical. I eventually asked her parents to take her home and discussed it with them. She thinks I am different person and I argue with her, and also haven't been taking care of her emotional and physical needs. Even now that we are living separately she does not call / text me because she thinks I disrespected her by calling her parents and forcing the break on her. I told her explicitly that all I need from her is talk with love and initiate conversations with me but she said she wont.

I dont know how to save this as she would not go to counselling with me.