Have been lurking since everything happened a few months ago and thought this may be a place to get some thoughts out. This may be long.

My wife and I are separated, going through the divorce as amicably as possible. We were supposed to start couples counseling after I got back from (literally) burying my grandmother. She had men lined up as soon as she gave me the news that she was done. The way she told me was traumatizing, that she was going on a trip with some dude from her past when I would be out of town to see friends. It was emasculating and it still stings.

We each had a son from previous relationships. Luckily, we didn't have kids together. There were signs that this would happen: Disconnected, lack of sex, passive-aggressiveness, and just avoiding each other. She was pulling away for years and I let it happen. As soon as her son moved full time with his dad, I knew it was over, yet I still tried to get the counselling to see if anything was left. She refused and didn't want to put any of the hard work in.

It really sucks to know that the woman I loved for over 10 years of my life is out there giving another man her attention. I really did think we can get through the rough times together but she did not feel the same. I'm angry, sad, regretful, and bitter. I've started dating again but the feelings still don't leave. I want to be able to just get her out of my mind, but how does one move on when you still love someone who didn't love you enough to try? I'm in therapy, but those gaps in between sessions in a quiet house (made her move out) bring the worst thoughts. I have a great friend/family group that supports me but I still lose sleep most nights.

TL;DR: How do you move on when you still have love for them but they didn't have the same love for you?