I recently moved back to my home city and I briefly reunited with my ex after almost 15 years. I could go into all of the details but he basically cheated on me when we were kids (21), knocked up a girl on a one night stand and HAD to marry her to stay in his families inheritance. He couldn’t have a kid out of wedlock to stay in the estate so he married her. I was pretty nice to the girl and even helped them get together after she had the baby. He decided to marry her and build a life together. I think things were good for a while, but very shallow & transactional on both of their ends. Fast forward to today - This has all backfired on him and they now have 6 boys together, are married but hate each other, always at each others throats. It’s progressively getting worse - their fights and disagreements have even led to police involvement (she records, then calls about him “arguing”) , child services, arrest for order of protection violation, firing as a baseball coach, work problems (he’s been very successful in his field and at the same company over 10 years) and for the past few months she’s stashing money and hiding cash from him. I hear what he’s describing to me & it seems like she is set out to damage him mentally, ruin his reputation and possibly get him into legal trouble. I don’t see how any of this is helpful for their children or sanity but it’s where they are at now. I’m concerned for their kids and I couldn’t imagine what is truly going on at their house. I’ve played devils advocate and asked if he’s the abusive one but he insists that it’s her.

I have moved on with my life, lived in some exciting places and have avoided this type of drama for the last several years. I had a bad split with my ex and custody battle that was stressful and traumatic - part of why i think I want to help him and offer advice. I have advised that he lawyers up and talks with his support system, makes a plan for his kids. They are both reaching 40 in the next few years and in this cat and mouse game with 6 kids who depend on them. I truly don’t know the inter workings of their home. I know he was good to me when we were young (18-21) but sometimes a bit intense. We spoke yesterday and he read a text he wrote to her explaining that they are done, finalizing their divorce. The very same day he told me he sent her screenshots of a conversation he was having with some 24 year old girl…. I guess he felt stupid about it but he isn’t seeing his kids & has some unresolved stuff going on. He’s living at his parents house and in a tough space mentally. I don’t want to date him again but I’m concerned for his kids & his own mental well being. I don’t want to involve myself if he truly is abusive and hurting her. I’m at a standstill and have told him I’d rather not talk anymore. He frequently brings up what SHE will do, if she will move on, etc … What would you advise for him and frankly, for me? lol