For context I come from a family that does not respect independence of any of irs individuals. Either due to narcissism or an enmeshed style of parenting. And I hated it.

TLDR: I [30M] warm approached a 7/10 [29F] via text. We've escalated to physical intimacy (though I declined sex). We've become more close than I intended and I don't know how to de-escalate or end the relationship amicably.

I got into PUA as a way to assert some independence and take control over my life and my relationships. I hate the idea that people just "luck" into dating each other. Since the beginning of this year I have been working on my style and non-verbals. I've been working out, joined a dance class, rock climbing and a open mic comedy club. All of this in preparation to go out into the field.

I started from the very bottom because my social anxiety is terrible. Randomly asking strangers for the time and greeting random people. It may be tiny victories but I needed those. Over time I built some outer game and can have conversations with strangers and some of them are enjoyable.

About a month ago, my family betrayed me in a way that made me small and insignificant and vulnerable. More out of rage and spite I found the hottest girl on my phone (approx 7-8/10) and texted her asking if she wanted to meet for ice-cream. I explained I was upset and needed to get out the house. To my surprise she agreed and that started our first date.

Date was mostly unremarkable. Not truly a "date". I used the opportunity to practice techniques im familiar with. Being deliberate with posture, eye contact and dominant voice and tonality. Reading and calibrating with her IoIs and IoDs. I tried working through a few conversation threads I had read up on. At a certain point we were discussing her previous relationships which were all abusive. I could see she was reliving those memories and so I offered a hug. She lingered in the hug and I began the escalation ladder to class 3. End of the date. I paid for the ice cream and drove her back to her home.

We texted back and forth and basically established we were attracted to each other. During the texts I established i wanted to date her, but casually to get to know her better. On our second date I took her to a karaoke bar and we discussed us dating more. On the ride home I established we were not exclusive and I intended on dating other girls and she said she was fine with this. When we got to her place we had our first kiss.

Since then we have met 2 more times and escalated physically. No sex but she's willing, Im just uncomfortable with being that close to someone. In fact I think I'm becoming emotionally attached to her even though I have no intention of escalating this to a serious relationship. I suspect she wants a serious exclusive relationship and I want a casual one.

The idea that I could hurt someone emotionally despite being very very clear with my intentions is killing me. I'm want to talk to her again to try and re-establish the boundaries, but im not convinvdd that its possible and I might have to end the relationship (and that is making me very very anxious). I like her and the idea that this could end in a breakup is painful.

Further, my toxic enmeshed family has discovered I am dating someone they do not approve of and are threatening me (nothing specific yet). They want to meet the girl and it's difficult to explain to them that meeting her will make it harder for me to keep things casual.

Further this was my first genuine attempt at using PUA techniques and I was not rejected and I have learned less than I had hoped for.

In short I need some advise on the way forward. Ive never made a post here before so feel free to ask for clarity on anything.