I'm an 18 year old guy and definitely still learning I'd appreciate any help. There are 3 girls I’ve been out with recently. In all cases, we had what felt like good dates - some even involved cuddling or signs of physical closeness but things quickly fizzle out afterward. I don’t know if I’m messing up in person, via text, or both. Here’s the breakdown:

Girl 1:
We had a good date playing mini golf and pool. She messaged afterward saying she had a great time and thanked me. I asked if she wanted to meet next week. She said she was working 46 hours and rehearsing, so didn’t have time. I said that was fine and asked if she wanted to do something later instead. She left that message unread for days and now it’s just been read with no reply.

Girl 2:
First date went great. By the end, she was resting her head on my shoulder. I texted afterward saying I had a good time and gave her my number. She said she’d add it and also enjoyed herself. I asked if she was free Friday. She said she had ballet rehearsals, then followed up with five messages explaining she was preparing for a national tour, weekends were packed, and she'd be flying to Sydney soon for over a month.
I’m not sure if this is a soft rejection masked as “maybe later.” I kind of doubt she genuinely can’t find any time if she was interested, but I can’t really tell. I told her to let me know if she finds some free time and she liked the message.

Girl 3:
This one is the most confusing. We had a third date at my place. She was wearing red lace underwear under her jeans, seemed like she was open to taking things further. At one point, she said she was bored, and I responded with “I have a better idea…” then “I felt like kissing her right then.” She brushed it off, and we moved on - terrible move. 😭
Another time, we were lying in bed and I was holding her while she played Sudoku. I lightly rubbed her side to “distract” her playfully. She didn’t react. I joked ironically about the fire trucks not stopping at red lights game (what was I thinking? 😂). She was just locked in on Sudoku the whole time. Not sure if I didn’t escalate properly or if it was dead in the water. I basically had no clue about escalation even though I was literally holding her in bed.

The texting situation got messy too:
After our first date, I asked how long she’d be out of town - she left it unread.
I followed up with: “Not sure if you’re back, but I’m down to meet Friday if you’re free, otherwise I’ll make other plans,” implying I might meet another girl.
She replied in 5 minutes, and we set up another date.

After our last date:
I asked, “You free sometime this weekend?” She said she was free “right now,” but not tomorrow.
I replied hours later: “Just saw this - maybe we could do something tonight if you’re still free.”
She said she was exhausted.
I said, “Fair enough, I’ve got stuff in the morning anyway.”
She asked what I was doing tomorrow morning. I just said, “I’m busy till 11:30” (maybe sounded like I was seeing someone else).
I sent her a song idea I was working on and asked for her thought - she said it was peaceful (besides the point).
The next day, I said: “If you want to hang out, I’m free tonight, Tuesday daytime, or Wednesday night.”
Left unread until Tuesday night. I followed up with just a “?”.
She replied, “Hey, sorry I’ve been very busy.”
I said, “You want to meet up tonight, maybe go for a drive?” She said she had dinner plans and work early.
I replied: “All good, you want to do another time?”
Now it’s been left unread for 4 days.

So here’s my core question:
These girls seem into me during the dates - physical closeness, inside jokes, etc. - but then texting becomes dry, slow, or they just disappear. Are they testing me? Soft rejecting me? Is it because of what I’m doing during the date? Is my texting turning them away?

Right now, I’m seriously considering asking the third girl what caused her to cut things off since it seems over, and I don’t want to keep making the same mistakes.

I’m tired of guessing and chasing. I want to improve especially when it comes to

  • Escalating in a smooth, confident way
  • Setting up second dates over text
  • Spotting whether a girl is genuinely interested or politely brushing me off

Any insights or advice would be really appreciated.