Hi 31(F) and I'm pleading for some advice for myself and my relationship. Finding it difficult to get past some things that are making me feel a bit defeated 😕

TheFeminineFrame · 2025-06-30T00:31:11+00:00

Try to plan fun things for yourself when he goes out. I understand that you still might feel a lot of anxiety surrounding this. Accept that this will be uncomfortable at first but try to push through with your planned activities.
If he brings up something, thank him for sharing. Ask for any clarification. Then instead of arguing let him know that you are listening but you need a little time to process. This way you’re not arguing but you’re not shutting down either. Later when you have a better understanding of what you are feeling, why you are feeling it, and how to communicate that, you can share your feelings on the topic.

Editing to add here…if the argument is over something silly you can try some techniques from the chapter on childlike anger from fascinating womanhood. If it is something serious I recommend taking the more mature route listed above.

Fascinating womanhood would be a good read for this. Particularly the chapters on masculine pride and childlike wonder.
Of course, I recommend trying to communicate openly even if you feel embarrassed. He might even find it cute. But if you want to ease into it you could try a few things. High praise and being very interactive when he does things you enjoy. If you are watching a movie and something arousing comes on you could tell him you think you ought to try that! Dressing a little more scandalously for bedtime. Hopefully after doing some of these things you can bolster some confidence and be a little more bold!

Ok_Pomegranate7730 · 2025-06-30T07:51:52+00:00

I think it’s enough to just not make it your point to argue every single thing I would not call myself submissive necessarily, I just 1. Don’t have energy to argue 2. I rather we do it his way and he deals with consequences then arguing we do it my way

I grew up with younger brothers. Telling them how to do staff always made me feel like a mommy. I hated that feeling, and I feel the same when telling my hubby how to do things when he didn’t ask

As for shyness. I too am shy. What helps me is just turning my head of completely and “playing the role”. I remember characters like witches or courtisans ;)

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